Another Day, Another Kat DeLuna Smash

My spirit guide/personal saviour Kat DeLuna is back with yet another killer dance anthem - this time featuring Busta Rhymes. "Blaze It Up" is typically amazing. This woman has yet to release a bad song, which makes her current lack of US chart success all the more frustrating. The Dominican diva knows her way around a party jam better than any bitch on this planet. Take the latest leak from her third album Viva (due January 2013). This is Latin-flavoured,...

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Liza Monet > Nicki Minaj

I swear I'm not a demented pervert that spends all night Googling sextapes by international pop acts but here's yet another diva that has opened her legs for the camera. Unlike poor Noelia,whose once promising career was derailed by a night of anal enjoyment, Liza Monet kept it classy and was just spit-roasted by two guys. To be honest, I'm not sure if the French rapper's sexcapades helped or harmed her career - she's European, so I'm guessing the...

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Remembering When Beyoncé Snatched J.Lo's Wig During A Pepsi Commercial

It's old news now that Beyoncé has been selected to rock next year's Super Bowl but pics have started surfacing from the Pepsi commercial she's filming to accompany her sure-to-be seminal half-time performance and it got me thinking about her four other ads for the soft drink giant. I've already written about her "We Will Rock You" campaign from 2004 with has-beens like Britney and Pink.Admittedly, that was a glorious moment in advertising but it was clear to everyone that Bey was the star of the show and she was invited back the following year...

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Luciana & Dave Audé Give You Something For The Weekend

When does Luciana have time to breathe? She churns out club-conquering dance anthems faster than Rihanna releases albums! The last time I caught up with her, Luci was promoting "Calling All The Lovers" - unfortunately that brilliant song is yet to reach Australia - but she has since moved on to the Dave Audé collab "Something For The Weekend". I think the epic floorfiller was originally going to be the follow-up to "Figure It Out". You know, that...

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From Anal Sextape To Timbaland-Produced Club Banger - Noelia's Stunning Ascent

I was combing through the US club chart a couple of days and saw an unfamiliar name sitting pretty at number two. After minutes of laborious research, I had learned four important facts about Noelia:1. She's Puerto Rican and had a bunch of hits on the Latin chart about a decade ago2. Her career was derailed in 2007 when a sextape of her being fucked up the arse by rapper Yamil leaked online3. The backdoor bandit is gunning for J.Lo's Latin-pop crown...

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Ciara Finally Releases A Good Song

Ciara drags the One Man Army era back from the brink of seemingly inevitable, Basic Instinct-sized failure with his best single since "Oh". It's good. Very good, in fact. "Got Me Good" is a nuclear-powered dance anthem with crisp production and a surprisingly sweet vocal. Think "Work" with a chorus. It kind of reminds me of Janet. You know when she used to whisper over heavy beats and actually sell records? Whoever convinced Cici to stop making music...

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Dane Rumble Returns With 'Tonight'

Now here's a welcome return. Dane Rumble is back with an upbeat track called "Tonight". I was obsessed with the Kiwi pop star's debut The Experiment in 2010 and interviewed him a couple of times when the album was officially released in Australia in 2011. He didn't break as big over here as he deserved - "Cruel" is one of my favourite songs ever - but the former Fast Crew rapper is still going strong at home. "Tonight" is another reminder of what...

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The Second Coming Of Samantha Jade

Samantha Jade is the only reason I watch X Factor. At first I was kind of depressed that the former next big thing had been reduced to appearing on a shitty TV show to kickstart her career but I guess that's just life for bitches on the grind circa 2012. If you can't beat them, join them. I'd be surprised if Sam wins - her stunning beauty and flawless vocals will no doubt alienate the frumpy girls who have nothing better to do than vote - but the...

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Johnny Ruffo's New Song Is Actually Quite Good

Johnny Ruffo's debut single was memorable - albeit for all the wrong reasons. I'm man enough to admit that I liked "On Top" in a so-crap-it's-amazing kind of way but the song gave Vanessa Amorosi's "Gossip" a run for its money in the cringeworthy lyrics stakes with clangers like "I'm on top of the world when I'm on top of you girl". Subtle. It's a testament to Johnny's popularity with teenage girls that the unusually dodgy DNA production still went...

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The Netherlands Has A Lot To Answer For

What in the Tokio Hotel hell is this? Tao Hypah - worst pop star name ever - is the Dutch answer to Adam Lambert. Only straight, I think. Don't get me start me. He recently launched his career with a dubiously-titled single called "Play The Girl" and it's every bit as dreadful as it sounds. Any song that begins with the lyrics:You want to know what sex would be like if you were a boy,I will play the girl, tell me what you want,I will wear your skirt!Is...

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Alicia Keys' Girl On Fire - Video Review

What the fuck is this? "Girl On Fire" had me under its spell from the first listen and I've been patiently waiting for an equally flawless visual to accompany the song. Instead we get Alicia Key's doing housework and paying her bills. Come again? I honestly can't remember the last time a video for a major artist missed the mark this badly. A good film clip adds another dimension to a song. This doesn't even reflect the tortured lyrical content. When...

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Kat DeLuna Is A Wild Girl

That Kat DeLuna reign just won't let up! Hot on the heels of 2012's ultimate samba anthem "Wanna See You Dance (La La La)" comes a new floorfiller called "Wild Girl". A collaboration with DJ Yass Carter (not gonna pretend - I have no idea who this dude is), the upbeat party-starter is another triumph for the Dominican diva. I love everything about this. The cheap and cheerful beats, Kat's killer vocal and the slutty chorus. Everything! Oh and did...

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Beyoncé Hand Picked By God For Super Bowl

Her majesty is back. The high priestess of pop, R&B and alt-country will entertain 100 million+ viewers at next year's Super Bowl. As Dr Alban once mused, sing hallelujah! This is amazing for so many different reasons. Here are the first ones that jumped into my head:1. Beyoncé becomes the first black woman to headline the event on her own - Janet had help from her nipple and Justin Timberlake2. She's only the second woman to have the honour...

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Kelly Clarkson's Gross Greatest Hits Cover & Tracklist

What the fuck is this? I thought Destiny's Child had the cheapest Greatest Hits package on shelves this Christmas but Kelly Clarkson has cruelly snatched their wigs at the last minute with Chapter One. Who decided to use an almost unrecognisable picture of Kelegend from the Breakaway era and frame it with a pattern that appears to have been stolen from a Britney Spears perfume bottle? I really want to know so I can write a strongly worded letter!...

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The Nekci Menij Show Returns

A couple of weeks ago I posted Bayonse's Quens Of Flop, an animated talk show hosted by Beyoncé's demented alter-ego. I must have watched that shit 150 times. It's my favourite clip in the history of YouTube! Anyway, Bayonse first appeared on The Nekci Menij Show (an era-defining web phenomenon), which returned for its 11th installment last week. In case you haven't seen the first 10 episodes - and if not why not? - Bayonse joined forces with Nicel Shitsinger to reform Destiny's Child and made Zey-J buy everyone's record deal so she had free reign...

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Elen Levon's Dancing To The Same Song Video

I don't have anything nice to say about this video, so for once in my life I'm going to shut my big mouth. This is a brilliant pop song and deserves to be a huge hit. I'm very happy to see it surging up iTunes. Go and download it if you haven't already. That is a...

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Lumidee & The Most Relevant Comeback Of 2012

Sometimes I lie awake in bed and wonder whatever happened to Lumidee. You know the flawless rap icon behind "Never Leave You (Uh Oh)" (a top 40 smash in Australia way back in 2003)? Well, the sleepless nights are over. The Peurto Rican diva dropped a new single called "Party All Week" earlier this month and it's actually kinda great. Sure, it's another club banger about tearing up the club but I love the Latin horns and appreciate Lumidee's confident...

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Mariah Is More Triumphant Than Ever!

Just when you thought Mariah couldn't get any more triumphant, the legendary diva adds yet another number one to her tally - this time on the highly relevant US dance chart. You know that edgy countdown where credible divas like Kristine W and Taylor Dane still have hits? So much win! "Triumphant" becomes Mimi's 16th song to top the chart, which moves her into 5th place all-time behind Madonna, Janet, Beyoncé and Rihanna. I'm glad the song is finding...

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Lana Del Rey's Ride - Video Review

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poetI can't remember the last time a full length movie affected me as much as Lana Del Rey's sweeping, ten-minute "Ride" video clip. The indie-pop goddess is now so far ahead of the game when it comes to combining music with a visual element that she's almost created her own genre. This is the kind of ARTPOP Lady Gaga has spent her entire career trying to achieve but just doesn't have the emotional depth...

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Holy Fuck, Kelegend Has A New Single

I've been overdosing on Kelly Clarkson since basking in the glow of her flawless K-mart fashion and vocal brilliance in Perth. Stronger is a 21-sized smash in my mind (and on my iPod), so it seems a little short-sighted to close the door on that era when she has gems like "I Forgive You" and "Let Me Down" just waiting to be unleashed. Kelegend's label obviously feels differently and has decided to rush-release a greatest hits compilation just in...

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Cosima's Back - Right Here, Right Now

The first season of Australian Idol was such a hotbed for talent. Guy Sebastian continues to churn out number one hits, Shannon Noll still rules the RSL circuit and Paulini is somewhere hanging her head in shame, hoping you'll forget "Fireman" ever happened. And then there's Cosima "nodules" De Vito. The diva disappeared for a while after the release of her underrated sophomore album but she's back with a new single called "Right Here, Right Now"....

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Destiny's Child Go All Out With New Greatest Hits Package... No, Really

The best group in the history of R&B, pop and any other kind of musical genre is releasing a greatest hits package this week and I'm only mildly losing my shit. What the hell is going on? I love Destiny's Child more than Janet loves sex-toys but Playlist is a lazy rehash of their era-defining 2005 'best of' #1s. They didn't even bother to make a pretty cover. Something tells me Matthew gave Solange an advance on her allowance to create this eyesore...

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Why Nicki Minaj Will Always Be Kelly Rowland To Mariah's Beyoncé

Mariah is truly the most triumphant human-being on the planet. While Stinki Garbaj trolls Twitter in a desperate bid for publicity in the wake of their much-publicised American Idol beef, the rainbow-loving chart legend has continued - completely unphased - on her fabulous way.You know, doing simple, everyday things like riding a rollercoaster in a couture gown, while posing seductively and flashing her diamonds to the mere mortals in the crowd....

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Birdy's Beautiful Sydney Showcase

Excuse the crap photo. Birdy's Sydney showcase was a camera-free event but I managed to snap this stunning image with my phone after the show. It's fuzzy but you get the idea. The 16-year-old Brit performed an impeccable five-song set on an intimate stage covered with flower bouquets and flickering candles. I'm still not sure if the mood was more romantic or funereal but the sedate atmosphere suited the teenager's bleak ballads perfectly.There's...

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Kelly Clarkson Conquers Perth

Two and a half years ago I went to Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted tour a mildly-interested casual fan and left preaching the gospel of Kelegend. There's something utterly compelling about her combination of raw talent and natural charm that just draws you in. Since then, the inaugural American Idol winner has had something of a career revival. She released the best album of her career in 2011 and returned to number one on the US singles chart...

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Lotus - The Original Unairbrushed Cover

*pre-orders 200 copi...

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The Return Of Kristinia DeBarge

You know the girl that sung "Goodbye"? No? You're killing me. Krissy - as she is known to me and her three other stans - was briefly hailed as the next big thing in 2009 when her catchy debut climbed into the US top 20. She sounded like a cross between pre-whore Rihanna and a less boring Jordin Sparks but her album sank faster than MDNA and she has spent the past three years making Disney movies. I was happily surprised when I read she was making...

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Christina Aguilera Ends World Hunger

Um while your lame fave is blowing RedOne for recycled beats, Xtina is ending world hunger by preaching the value of nutrition. I'm so embarrassed for you right n...

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Album Cover Of The Century

I'm still reeling from this glorious piece of art. Olivia and John look like they're having a gay old time sipping cocoa while politely discussing who sucked less in Two Of A Kind. Christmas songs usually leave me cold - with the obvious exception of this - but I'm here for the return of Danny and Sandy. The iconic duo have even recorded a new song called "I Think You Might Like It", which is billed as a sequel to "You're The One That I Want". I'm...

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Monica Naranjo's English Language Electro Anthem

Don't be frightened - that isn't Lady Gaga without make-up. Rather, it's the cover of Monica Naranjo's new single "Make You Rock". At this point you might be wondering who is this scary bitch? Well, she is the Queen of Spanish pop (Sorry, Marta!) and commands the gays over there with more authority than Madonna and Kylie combined. I have to admit that I struggle with her more artistic endeavours like that boring album of Mina covers but 2008's Tarántula...

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Solange Is The New Queen Electronica: Losing You - Single/Video Review

A couple of weeks ago I posted a preview of Solange's new single and described it as Bag Raiders on Valium. I was almost right. "Losing You" is a summery splash of hazy electronica but Solo isn't content with reinventing chill-out music for stoners. The brilliant Blood Orange production expertly blends soul elements into the sound palette to make this one of the most inventive and achingly beautiful singles of 2012. I've always preached the gospel...

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Lisa Mitchell Goes Pop, Slays Your Fave Etc

I've had a soft spot for Lisa Mitchell since she first appeared on Australian Idol and spent every episode looking bored as fuck. Gems like "Coin Laundry" and "Neopolitan Dreams" should have been bigger hits but they were just a bit too quirky for non-indie radio. Her last single "Spiritus" was even weirder but I loved it and dragged the haters on Pop Panel. It's time for the second taste of her soon-to-be-released sophomore album and "Bless This...

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