Ke$ha Really Loves Pussy - C'Mon Video Review

I must have sat down to write this review at least 10 times over the past month but it never quite happened. I think I was suffering from fan fatigue. After documenting the "Die Young" campaign from pre-leak to post-Sandy Hook fallout, I just wanted to enjoy a Ke$ha release without analysing every tiny detail. And it's been a lot of fun re-connecting with the pussy-lovin' pop icon.

"C'Mon" has proved the doomsayers wrong. After a slow start, the current soundtrack to my life is gathering momentum in Australia (and America) and looks like being another big hit. It still wouldn't have been my pick as the second single but only because it misrepresents the millennium's most underrated album. "Crazy Kids", "Gold Trans Am" or "Only Wanna Dance With You" better represent the glory of cock-pop but I asked Jesus for guidance and he has helped me come to terms with the choice.

Don't get me wrong. I love "C'Mon" and get excited every time I hear it on the radio. It's an instant cure for a bad day and makes me want to drive around robbing convenience stores. Capturing the song's breezy brilliance was always going to be a challenge but the clip does an amazing job of letting us inside K$'s weird and wonderful head.

Director Darren Craig was also responsible for the diva's controversial "Die Young" video but he takes a very different approach this time. Gone are the Satanic references and group sex. Instead we get fuzzy animal costumes and a wild party. As much as I love "Die Young", I think this clip is more authentic to Lady Dolla. Like she was playing a character last time but can finally be herself now.

There is so much to love about this video, I don't even know where to start. I love that she looks like Ellie May from the Beverly Hillbillies in the opening scene. I want to ride in the magical van with God$ha and her pussycat companion (there are a lot of cat references in this clip). I approve of her stunning fashion choices and feel like partying with magical animals is the way forward. Most of all, I want her glamorous bedroom. I would seriously never leave the house ever again!

Go and download "C'Mon" today. Pop needs Ke$ha and the song and video (below) are pretty much flaw-free.

9/10

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Ke$ha Is A Pop Warrior - Album Review

Warrior is one of the best pop albums of all time. There I said it. You're lucky to get three or four good songs from an artist these days but K$ delivers gem after breathtaking gem. I'm so proud of her. Lady Dolla's sophomore set is brave, funny, raw, original, poetic and extremely fucking catchy. It's also inexplicably uplifting. The mind-expanding opus has perked me up no end - so I highly recommend gifting it to your depressed and downtrodden friends!

Sales predictions are in and the numbers are pretty disappointing. It doesn't help that the album leaked early or was released at the busiest time of year but all that shit is irrelevant. I stan for La Toya, so trust me when I say that chart position is no measure of greatness! And there are at least 6 or 7 potential hit singles on Warrior. It will come good - just keep the faith. Anyway, here's my review. Please note that my rating was changed to 4/5 as an editorial decision. In my mind it's perfect.

Read my Warrior review

10/10

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Buy Warrior Or Get Eaten By Ke$ha's Vagina!

Warrior is the best pop album of 2012 - nothing else comes close. Buy Lady Dolla's triumphant sophomore set or face the wrath of her hungry vagina (above), which recently terrified concert-goers in Sweden. Make sure to get the deluxe version. The bonus tracks blow my mind! I'm putting the finishing touches on my review - so stay tuned.

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Further Proof That Warrior Will Revolutionise Pop - Ke$ha Unleashes 'C'mon'

If you're a total failure of a human being and not counting down the seconds until Warrior is released, here's yet another reason to get correct and accept Ke$ha as the one indisputable truth. "C'mon" has been released as a buzz single to remind the world that she is - without doubt - the greatest electro-pop star on the planet. I have no doubt her future Grammy award-winning, multi-platinum smash will change the way we think about music forever. "Die Young" took K$'s signature sound to the next level by throwing subtle rock elements into the mix. The Max Martin/Dr Luke-produced follow-up sticks to the same formula.

"C'mon" is like listening to an Animal-era party anthem after washing down a handful of Xanax with a bottle of Tequila. All the raucous elements that we've come to know and love from the Anti-Kri$t are there but it's a more mellow, organic listening experience. There's definitely a psychadelic '70s influence at play, which I hope she explores further on Warrior. I adore every second of this. The chorus is bliss, the lyrics are typically brilliant - "feeling like a saber-toothed tiger, sippin' on a warm Budweiser" - and the dreamy production makes this the perfect soundtrack for a sun-drenched roadtrip. With the windows down and the radio up.

10/10

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Ke$ha's New Video Gave Me Epilepsy And I Fucking Loved It

Stop your entire fucking life! Ke$ha's erection-inducing "Die Young" video has finally hit the net and it's every bit as awe-inspiring as we've come to expect from the Queen of soul and many other genres. So where to start? Probably with a warning. If you suffer from epilepsy or took a lot of drugs in the '90s, you might want to watch the clip through sunglasses. My head was spinning so fast by the end of K$'s Apocalypse-themed visual that I now see Illuminati triangles when I close my eyes. I feel so blessed!

The Citizen Kane of music videos begins with a hearse driving into a deserted Mexican village. Don't worry. Paulina Rubio is probably still alive but there seems to have been a cataclysmic event in that part of the world. Obviously the masses got sick of hearing "Diamonds" on the radio and revolted. But I digress. The first glimpse of pop's fiercest warrior took my breath away. Only Ke$ha could pose under a satanic black veil in the back of a death-mobile and still give me wood. Viagra just went out of business because one glance at this siren will redirect your blood flow in seconds!

After being carried into a cathedral like the patron saint of Gothic transvestites, Ke$ha breaks some shit - because that's what edgy cult-leaders do! - and throws a party with her sexy dancers. Apparently only hot bisexuals survive the apocalyse, so it's reassuring to know that Frank Ocean will be ok if the Mayans are right. From that point on, things get kinda crazy with dizzying choreography and a selection of barely-there outfits.

I particularly love the hilarious Nokia promotion. So the world just ended and the last remaining survivors get on their phones to call... who? Clearly it's just a surreal touch (and definitely not a grab for cash) to underline the fact that Dr. Luke's fave is now a true artiste. So embarrassed for your fave right now! And let's just talk about the raunchy bed scene. How hot does she look? Pray for the uncut version to be uploaded to Pornhub!

Ke$ha could have attacked this clip from a number of different directions but I think she made a wise choice. "Die Young" is darker than her usual fare but still glam, glittery and very much tongue-in-cheek. If Lady Gaga did this video it would run for 23 minutes, be shot in black & white and feature Mother Monster performing an interpretive dance in the children's ward of a hospital. Our Queen, on the other hand, just lets her unwashed hair down and has fun. This is an ocean of win.

Song: 10/10, Video: 10/10

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Ke$ha Performs 'Die Young' On Australian X Factor. Kills The Game.

Ke$ha conquered Australian TV earlier this evening with a game-changing performance of her international smash hit "Die Young". It's always a revelation to see the greatest wordsmith of our time ply her trade but this was particularly breathtaking. The unstoppable hitmaker humiliated your wigless fave with glorious live vocals, dazzling choreography and peerless musicianship. I've watched this ten times and I still can't process her magnificence. How can one woman possess so much charisma and sex appeal? Prepare to be slayed.

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