The era-defining dance smash of 2012 is finally mine. Stay pressed, hoes!
Showing posts with label Lotus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lotus. Show all posts
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
I spent a ridiculous amount of time listening to Christina Aguilera's Lotus over the weekend, so I could let it all sink in and review it with an open mind. The usual cunts have already written it off citing the failure of "Your Body" to set the charts on fire but I don't get why everyone is so concerned about sales. It's like you all became accountants just to drag Xtina. Surely it's more important that big-lunged diva has regrouped and delivered her best album since Stripped? There's a lot to love on Lotus if you can look past the half a dozen or so songs about her army of haters. The two Max Martin/Shellback dance songs are great but Adele 2.0 really comes into her own with the power ballads. "Sing For Me" and "Blank Page" (below) are the standouts and should have wide-appeal. Hate if you must but I give Lotus:
7.5/10
Friday, 9 November 2012
In 2010 I reviewed Bionic and pretty much teared Xtina's experimental offering apart. My opinion has softened over the years - the ballads are really very good - but I did my best to pretend the album didn't exist until earlier this week when Idolator asked me to revisit the much-maligned opus to celebrate the release of Lotus. I was terrified at first and had a bottle of holy water ready to throw over my laptop if needed but the album holds up rather well and I think I can finally judge the music on its merits. Click here to read my retrospective review of Bionic but first enjoy the magic of "Desnudate" below!
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Friday, 28 September 2012
It's finally here! Christina Aguilera's "Your Body" visual dropped this morning and I'm still reeling from its brilliance. First things first. The preview was misleading. I thought Xtina was going to spend most of the clip guzzling beer in a trailer park like Beyoncé in "Party" but that's just a tiny piece of the puzzle. The always-edgy music legend actually plays a horny femme fatale who goes on an extremely colourful murder spree. In an unusual but possibly inspired dieting strategy, Christina swaps cake for cock. And she's as insatiable as ever!
Lordtina fucks in cars, sleazy motel rooms and a toilet cubicle. Which pretty much confirms that she's a gay man trapped in a woman's body. This also explains why she looks like a contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race. The thing is - it works. Xtina has always been a more-is-more kinda girl. She would look naked without a kilo of make-up and enough fake hair to insulate a house. I love the way the director camps up the murders by using paint and glitter instead of blood and the scene where Christina poses by the side of the road on her suitcase like a cracked out teletubby is so fucking ridiculous/amazing that I have no choice but to watch it on repeat.
Time will tell if "Your Body" is powerful enough to break the curse of Bionic. It debuted in the US top 40 this week and has been fairly stable on iTunes after an initial post-release dip. Fingers crossed radio gives Xtina a chance and she hits the TV circuit to promote it. Pop needs this bitch to get her groove back. Someone has to keep tireless publicity whores like Rihanna and Lady Gaga in check. This is a good start.
8/10
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