Rita Ora & Azealia Banks - Live In Sydney

In the last week I've had the pleasure of seeing two of music's hottest new talents play the same venue. Rita Ora and Azealia Banks are in Australia as part of the Future Music festival but both found time for Sydney side-shows at the Enmore. They were great but the proximity of the gigs highlighted their comparative strengths and weaknesses - and confirmed my suspicion that neither lady has really found her niche just yet. Let's start with the Yung Rapunxel. I love this girl and don't give two fucks if she sits on Twitter 24/7, calling people faggots and feuding with Z-grade rappers. She is living, breathing entertainment - and brought that raw, borderline-manic energy to her live show.

You know you're in for wild ride when the people standing next to you look like escapees from the Jerry Springer set. There were the desperate bitches in hot pants, grinding away like the world wasn't watching their shimmering muffin tops. The suburban white boys dressed like 50 Cent and the indie-gays prancing around like Drag Race contestants. Oh and let's not forget the marijuana fumes that hovered over the crowd like rain clouds at Mardi Gras. It redefined hot mess but I honestly didn't expect anything else and secretly reveled in the ratchetivity.

The show was brief but vibrant. Azealia mostly performed songs from her Fantasea mixtape and 1991 EP, delivering a non-stop stream of '90s dance-infused hip-hop. Highlights included the Diplo-produced "Fuck Up The Fun", a sleek and sexy rendition of "Van Vogue", the hit single that never happened ("Esta Noche") and, of course, her signature tune - "212". As much fun as it was, the weave addict still has work to do on her sound. After a while the songs all bled into one. She is currently a bit of a one trick pony. Happily that one trick is pretty amazing and she has the extra something. Anyone that comes out to twerk in the crowd pre-show is alright by me.

Rita Ora is a more polished product than Azealia. As a graduate of the Roc Nation school of superstar grooming, she is perfectly presented and well-equipped with a designer purse full of tracks from the hottest producers in the music business. I know some people have a problem with Albania's greatest export - she's too similar to Rihanna, has no personality, cheated on Rob Kardashian with 20 men etc - but I enjoyed her debut album and, unlike the woman she's accused of imitating, she has genuine vocal talent. It's too early to predict Rita's future but I'd like to remind the haters that it took Breezy's punching bag three albums to develop her own sound. Give her a break!

There isn't a lot to say about the production. Roc Nation's third lady (behind Beyoncé and Kylie) only had a couple of projections and a microphone. That's enough when you have less than an hour to play and a killer debut album to pull songs from. She played all her hits - "R.I.P.", "How We Do" (complete with a Notorious BIG medley), the incredibly catchy "Shine Ya Light", current single "Radioactive" (below) and my personal theme song "Roc The Life". An unexpected highlight was "Hello, Hi, Goodbye", which is a no brainer for the 28th single from ORA.

The problem with Rita is hard to pinpoint. She has a great voice, amazing style and access to all the hitmakers. But so did Alexis Jordan and look where it got her. I have higher hopes for the unnatural blond but she needs to find her own voice. Why not explore her heritage with some world beats? Kind of like Shakira but without the growling and otherworldly flawlessness? Chances are she won't get that adventurous but Rita needs to find her own lane if she wants to shake the highly offensive poor man's Rihanna title. Fun gig though.

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Jessie Ware - Live In Sydney

This is going to be a short review because there are only so many ways you can say - she looked glamorous, sounded brilliant and made amazing use of back-lighting. It's strange how seeing an artist live can completely change your opinion of them and their music. I've always liked Jessie Ware and included Devotion on my best albums of 2012 list but I thought of her as a niche diva. The kinda sophisticated lady you play when you're trying to impress someone or slightly buzzed at 3am. In my mind, she was the second-coming of Sade. Which is a great compliment but an indication that her music might not be best fit for an intimate venue - located above a gay bar, no less.

But Jessie proved me wrong. Her one hour set was positively dripping in sass. She took the odd moment to indulge her jazzy, low-key diva leanings but most of the show was funk-heavy and had the crowd shuffling as much as you can in a room squeezed full of hipsters. From the very first song, a soulful and earthy rendition of "Devotion", it was instantly apparent that the Brit's voice is an instrument of rare quality. She sounded immaculate and gave the material a warmth missing from her album. "Still Love Me" sounded like a different track altogether and "No To Love" was a goosebump-inducing showstopper.

As much I loved those moments, the highlights - for me - were the upbeat songs. "Sweet Talk" is such a slinky anthem. It reminds me of something a Prince protegee might have recorded in the '80s. Equally amazing was "Running" - surely one of the most underrated anthems of 2012. That was a television advertisement away from being massive. And let's not forget my favourite Jessie song, "Wildest Moments". It was worth a trip to the Beresford just to hear that triumphant tune. The rising star promised to return to Australia soon with a bigger show. I'll be there, front and centre.

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Beyoncé Bowl & The Resurrection Of DC3

Beyoncé cemented her status as the greatest performer of her generation - and arguably of all time - with a triumphant Super Bowl show earlier today. I know I get carried away when it comes to my Queen but I crying and shaking like a stroke victim during the diva's 13 minute master-class in performance art. With all the inauguration drama of the past couple of weeks, it was such a relief to see Bey do what she does best - make your faves look second rate. But before I run through the many highlights, it's probably easier to get the things I didn't like about her set out of the way first. Because there are so few of them.

1. I thought the finale was a little anti-climactic. King B should have been carried off on a bed of wigs or something equally fabulous instead of standing there giving her thank you, so much! face.
2. As much as I love "End Of Time", this was an occasion for hits - not belated 4 promo.
3. Bey should have sang something off B'Day.
4. I'm not here for recycled Glastonbury choreography.

That's it. I have no other complaints. From beginning to end, the show was immaculate. I loved how there was just enough production to keep it visual without drowning the diva in unnecessary special effects and she tore up the stage like an athlete. All that dancing, wig-whipping and pussy-popping would put most artists in a coma but Beyoncé did it all in heels without missing a note. None of us are worthy!

Who else was fooled by the opening? I was sure we were getting "Run The World (Girls)" but B surprised us all by launching into a few lines from "Love On Top". Obviously just to remind bitches that she has the best voice in music. Take note, Alicia (off-)Keys. And then she did that "Crazy In Love" strut and I started screaming like Adele at Weight Watchers. I will never, ever get sick of that walk until the day I die! Oh and how brilliant was the stage floor? That gave me chills - it was Kylie's "Slow" on a slightly bigger budget.

One of the many things that blows my mind about Mrs Carter is the way she works her weave. I swear that thing has a life of its own! And props for the flawless choreography. It's easy to sound amazing when you're standing still but it's a completely different proposition when you're dippin' in low and pussy poppin' like a Vegas stripper. She even did the iconic "Crazy In Love" thumb lick and gave vintage Michael Jackson by having an unnecessary but completely awesome guitar solo.

Next up was "End Of Time" and I'm glad the song finally got its moment to shine. As I said earlier, I would have preferred something from B'Day - or at least a song that everybody knew - but it is a fucking amazing tune and that Glastonbury choreography deserved another spin. Still, it was kind of cheeky to rehash it. Almost as big a surprise, albeit a much happier one, was the inclusion of "Baby Boy". Seriously, I've been listening to her epic Sean Paul collab all afternoon. That shit still sounds as fresh today as it did in 2003.

"Baby Boy" was flawlessly presented - great use of the BBMA special effects - but the highlight for me was the resurrection of Destiny's Child. We all knew it was happening but I still needed a defibrillator when Kelly and Michelle jumped on stage. They looked so good together and those harmonies! Sweet Jesus! I've never been a huge fan of "Independent Women" but they absolutely nailed it. Surrounded by a ring of fire - no less. Please let this be a sign that they will reunite between solo albums!

This takes me to "Single Ladies". I laughed out loud when Bey literally turned Kelly and Michelle into her backing vocalists. I'm trying to turn the other cheek but that is such a shady, diva move! But, funnily enough, it worked brilliantly. They breathed new life into the song as a group and had fun with the famous choreography. Seeing them together on stage makes me sad that Ms Rowland and Tenitra haven't gone on to bigger things.

Kelly is such a professional. She nailed every move and hit every note. This woman shouldn't be releasing songs about cunnilingus to get attention. And the usual bitches took aim at Michelle for forgetting to whip her wig but she has always been the heart of DC3. There's something so awkward about her - like you know she'd rather be singing about Jesus than tawdry one night stands - that makes you want to give her a big hug. I have so much love for Shell and her two left feet!

I knew there would be at least one ballad and Bey saved it for the finale. "Halo" is probably my favourite song of all time, so I was sobbing after about 10 seconds. After a spectacular array of fireworks and special effects, it was nice that the last two minutes focused on King B's incomparable talent. She doesn't need that shit to put a show. Just give her a microphone. By the time she sang her final note, Twitter had collapsed and wigs had been snatched. Bring on the world tour!

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Mariah's Triumphant Return To Australia

Over the Summer I was lucky enough to tag along on Mariah's Australian tour. It was a wild ride with a couple of tense moments but it was a brilliant experience that I will always cherish. All of the shows were good but the Sydney concert was absolutely immaculate. Mimi received unfair criticism for what was perceived to be an overly short set but when you have 917 hits you have to be judicious about what you sing and I think she got the mix right. The diva enjoyed herself so much that she's desperate to return and could be heading back this way as soon as September to tour her new album. I'll be there.

Read my review of Mariah's Australian tour.

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Jennifer Lopez Conquers Sydney

There's nothing like an extraordinary concert to make you see an artist in a completely different light. I was always a casual Jennifer Lopez fan but thought she was a vocal lightweight who relied on good looks and clever producers to remain semi-relevant. But I walked away from her show at All Phones arena on Saturday in awe. Jenny is one of our last great pop stars - someone who can entertain you for two hours with good, old-fashioned singing and dancing. What a relief to be spared the clumsy theatrics of Gaga or the soulless bump n' grind of Rihanna. J Lo just looked like a goddess, said a few kind words and danced her arse off. It was one of the best concerts I've seen in a long time.

For someone of Jennifer's stature, the Dance Again tour is actually quite modest production-wise. There isn't much of a set to speak off - just a couple of screens, a runway and a luggage trolley. It says volumes about J Lo's unexpected stage-craft that I barely noticed the empty stage because my eyes never left her. The introduction was typically glamorous. The stunning diva was carried on stage wearing a Dr Zhivago-tastic fur muff before stripping off to a rather unflattering white bodysuit.

It's hard to make that woman look anything less than flawless but she looked like a bedazzled Teletubby. While the outfit was a bit of a miss, the song selection was not. I've always loved the horn-heavy "Get Right" and Jenny did it justice despite a microphone malfunction. "Love Don't Cost A Thing" was a treat and I was happy to hear "I'm Into You" - one of the real highlights from 2011's uneven Love? She left for a costume change to the glorious strains of "Waiting For Tonight", which I always remember as the song that was playing in whatever dive I celebrated the turn of the millennium. Memories!

It was nice to see 2009's scrapped comeback single "Louboutins" get a little love in a video montage. I still think it's a fun song. When Jenny returned in full boxing regalia, the show stepped up a gear. She looked phenomenal with rippling abs and trademark tracksuit. I loved the choreography in the section and the Puerto Rican beauty proved that she is one of the best dancers in the business. I can't believe I actually enjoyed "Goin' In". Before the concert, I would have ranked it one of the year's biggest disappointments but it worked in that context.

Better yet was the medley of old-school urban jams like "Ain't It Funny" and "I'm Real". Whatever happened to Ja Rule? Has he been exiled to the same island of irrelevant rappers currently home to Styles P and Jadakiss? But I digress. The highlight was hearing "Jenny From The Block". I remember thinking it was so edgy at the time. Shame. One of the night's few missteps was the soppy "Baby, I Love You" video interlude - not the awesome R Kelly remix - with her hot toyboy. Stop bragging, bitch!

Next up was a stunning Las Vegas-themed nightclub segment with a bluesy rendition of non-hit "Hold It Don't Drop It". It sounded amazing. Jennifer really burnt a hole in the stage with her sexy moves. "I'm Glad" was a surprise inclusion but it's held up a lot better than I expected. Or maybe it just sounds richer with a live band. The ultimate triple threat then showed off her vocal chops by singing an excellent ballad version of "If You Had My Love" before bringing people back to their feet with "Until It Beats No More" - complete with montage of family photos. It was really cute.

The final segment was nuclear-powered entertainment. Sporting event favourite "Let's Get Loud" was an explosion of colour and ripped bodies, stunning number 96 US chart smash "Papi" was as fabulous as expected and "On The Floor" really is less annoying live. Not sure how I felt about her throne, which looked like a giant vagina from some angles. After the quickest of breaks, she returned for "Dance Again" AKA the vastly improved sequel to "On The Floor". Looking at the chaos around me, I realised that Jenny's gift is her mastery of upbeat party jams. She's never got it right over a whole album - they demand an element of variation - but few pop stars do three-and-a-half minutes of pure pop better. Put 20 of those songs together and you have one hell of a feel-good concert.

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Birdy's Beautiful Sydney Showcase

Excuse the crap photo. Birdy's Sydney showcase was a camera-free event but I managed to snap this stunning image with my phone after the show. It's fuzzy but you get the idea. The 16-year-old Brit performed an impeccable five-song set on an intimate stage covered with flower bouquets and flickering candles. I'm still not sure if the mood was more romantic or funereal but the sedate atmosphere suited the teenager's bleak ballads perfectly.

There's been no stopping Birdy since "People Help The People" was featured on Neighbours. Her album flew to number one and "Skinny Love" sold triple platinum after some flop destroyed her Bon Iver cover on X Factor. It's a little undignified that someone of this calibre owes her popularity to a pair of shit TV shows but I like to think it would have only been a matter of time before Australia woke up to her terrifying talent. She's destined for great things and everyone at Studio 303 last night knew it.

After the quickest of nods to the audience, Birdy sat behind her piano and casually belted out a goosebump-inducing version of "Shelter". Her voice is every bit as sublime live as it is on record and there was something otherwordly about her ability to imbue lyrics with raw emotion. Next up was "Without A Word", followed by her Hunger Games contribution "Just A Game". The prodigy hasn't mastered the art of conversation - simply introducing each song with its title - but nobody was there to hear her talk.

The aforementioned "People Help The People" was ridiculously heartfelt, while her gorgeous rendition of "Skinny Love" makes Justin Vernon look like a bald busker. I would have loved to hear "Terrible Love" - my favourite song on her debut - but something tells me it's only a matter of time before I hear it when she tours the country in massive venues. I'll be waiting.

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Kelly Clarkson Conquers Perth

Two and a half years ago I went to Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted tour a mildly-interested casual fan and left preaching the gospel of Kelegend. There's something utterly compelling about her combination of raw talent and natural charm that just draws you in. Since then, the inaugural American Idol winner has had something of a career revival. She released the best album of her career in 2011 and returned to number one on the US singles chart with the double-platinum selling smash "Stronger". I was curious to see if her current success reflected in the stage show and was oddly relieved that it was just as low key as her last tour. Kelly doesn't fuck around with choreography, costume changes and lighting concepts. She just sings her heart out and wins the crowd over with her funny anecdotes and down-to-earth personality. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"My Life Would Suck Without You" eloquently describes how many of us were feeling when the perky pop star walked on stage singing what will inevitably become her signature tune. I love that Kelly just put her hair back in a ponytail, threw on a pair of old jeans and a sparkly top that she could well have picked up at Target. Your fave could never and you know it! That modern classic was followed by the equally stellar "Behind These Hazel Eyes", which still sounds better than just about anything on the radio. The Texan superstar then belted out a trio of songs from Stronger. "I Forgive You" - AKA the ultimate wasted opportunity - was always destined to be a massive single but I guess now it will have to settle for live favourite status. How shit. It really is a great song. I loved "Dark Side" went it leaked initially but I'm a little bit over it now and was vastly more excited to hear "You Love Me", which is probably my favourite non-single of last year.

Next up was her desperate "Halo" rip-off "Already Gone" (Ryan Tedder's fault, not hers) and a surprise rendition of her amazing Jason Aldean duet "Don't You Wanna Stay". I didn't think we'd get much country Kelly but we got a double dose when she announced that her fan request for the evening would be Carrie Underwood's "Blown Away". It just so happens that I went to the show with Australia's biggest Carrie fan and she howled through the entire song and couldn't move afterward because of "the emotion". Obviously, she is a crazy lady but I was only slightly less moved. Kelly's rendition of the haunting ballad was absolutely exquisite. She pared the song back to its bare bones and emphasised the dark lyrics, turning Carrie's American smash into an eerie lullaby. After the country detour, the famed football fan performed the best of Breakaway - belting out pitch-perfect renditions of "Because Of You", the title track and "Since U Been Gone".

The world's favourite girl-next-door then closed the show with "Stronger". I know it's one of the biggest hits of her entire career but I still think it sounds like a Cher B-side. Which should be a good thing but strangely isn't. After the shortest of breaks, Kelly returned in a stunning fitted dress for the encore. She looked adorable and nailed a beautifully-arranged ballad version of "Never Again". I need an mp3! "Mr Know It All" - another big hit I'm not overly fond of - sounded infinitely better live but I was more excited to hear "Miss Independent", the only song from her debut to make the setlist. Kelly ended the show with a rousing cover of Fun.'s "We Are Young" with support acts The Fray and Sarah DeBono. It was an refreshingly ego-free closing number (how many divas close their shows with a cover?) that underlines why the 30-year-old remains one of pop's favourite daughters. She's just here to sing and do her thing. Nothing else matters.

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Hanson - Live In Sydney

I vaguely remember being into Hanson for like five minutes in 1997. Middle of Nowhere was a great album but my heart belonged to quality entertainers like Whigfield, Aqua and Dannii. 15 years passed and I finally got to see the boys perform live. It turned out to be surprisingly entertaining. But to be honest, I didn't have very high expectations. These retro tours can be a disaster (Vengaboys, I'm looking at you!) but Hanson ticked all the boxes. They sounded great, dusted off most of the hits and subtly showed that there's more to them than "MMMBop" by playing some surprisingly good new material.

After an opening song I didn't recognise (not that you could really hear it over all the old lady screams), Hanson got the party started with "Where's The Love". Memory is a weird thing. I'd bet a lot of money that I haven't heard the song since the '90s but every line came flooding back. In addition to the feel-good factor of reconnecting with a song from your childhood, I couldn't help but notice that the Hanson brothers got a lot hotter with age. Well, all of them except Taylor. While he looks like he should be walking through a prairie, his voice and musicianship can't be faulted. The middle Hanson is the battery that keeps the band going and his energy was infectious.

Highlights for me were Zac's solo, Isaac's striptease (ok, he undid the top button on his shirt) and hearing songs I had completely forgotten exist like "Penny & Me", "This Time Around" and their 2000 Australian top 10 hit "If Only". Of course, nothing could top finally hearing "MMMBop" live and it was the religious experience I was expecting. Isaac looked bored but Taylor did everything but stand on his head to get the crowd into it - not that they needed any encouragement! The Hanson brothers, still have the ladies eating out of their hands after all these years. It's almost a shame they're all married and a have a million kids between them. I can't really criticise the concert. It was lovingly put together, well-executed and extremely entertaining. It would have been nice to hear 1998 hits "Weird" and "Thinking Of You" but no doubt they'll be on the setlist next time. All in all, this trip down memory lane was well worth taking. 

EDIT: I'm told they did perform "Thinking Of You". I must have been taking a piss. 

 

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Lana Del Rey Conquers Sydney - Live Review

Lana Del Rey brought that wintertime sadness to Sydney last night with the first of two sold-out shows at the Enmore Theatre. The perennially-doomed queen of ominous indie-pop has divided the music world more than any other artist in 2012. Some dismiss her as a gimmick, while others - like myself - swoon at the very mention of her name. For me, Born To Die is the ultimate concept album. Liz Grant (Lana's real name) has breathed her very own film-noir heroine to life and fearlessly marches her through the seedy underbelly of the American dream - song by song, video by video. It's a flawlessly constructed soundscape that evokes images of wine-stained party frocks and cheap velour curtains. Translating that multi-layered sound into a live performance was always going to be difficlut but the 26-year-old was a revelation last night.

From the moment Lana strolled across the stage and casually began singing "Blue Jeans", all memories of that infamous Saturday Night Live appearance dissipated. She looked every inch the vintage glamour girl in her pink babydoll dress and trademark floral headpiece. The usually depressed diva positively beamed as she descended into the audience and mingled with screaming fans. I couldn't take my eyes off her. It was her real-life prom queen moment and she absorbed the adulation with grace and good humour. After climbing back on stage, Lana introduced herself and then launched into new song "Body Electric". It's quintessentially Del Rey with lyrics full of yearning and a chorus that sneaks up on you out of nowhere. Singles "Born To Die" and "Summertime Sadness" followed and they couldn't have sounded more perfect.

Hearing "Without You" was the highlight of the show for me. I still can't believe the glorious torch song has been relegated to bonus track status. It has hit written all over it and would probably be played at weddings for the next 20 years if released. "Million Dollar Man" made less of an impression but her haunting rendition of Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box" was a triumph. If you think Lana is a one trick pony, listen to this cover on YouTube and get correct. "Carmen" and career-making viral hit "Video Games" came next and the sadcore pioneer unleashed some unexpected operatic flourishes - putting any doubts about her vocal ability to bed. The big-lipped beauty then performed "Radio" (one of the album's few filler cuts) before ending the 11-song set with "National Anthem". Lana walked back into the crowd to salute her fans, sparking a near riot, before politely saying goodbye and leaving without a backward glance. The lights went on and I immediately decided to go again tonight for another dose of gloomy pop perfection.

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Carrie Underwood - Live At The Palais

My last update was a review of Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball. It was a multi-million dollar stadium show with countless costume changes and over-the-top props like a giant talking head and fully functional Gothic castle. Less than a week later, I flew to Melbourne to catch Carrie Underwood at the Palais Theatre. She wore the same outfit the whole time, had no props - apart from a faulty smoke machine that almost choked the front row - and performed a setlist comprised of songs that have never graced a commercial radio station in Australia. Her show was infinitely better.

We all know Carrie has an amazing voice and she made it her mission to showcase her vocal prowess during the intimate concert. The opening number was a gorgeous rendition of her current country hit "Good Girl". Her band was tight and she looked beautiful but the empty stage was a bit jarring at first. She slipped straight into "Flat On The Floor" (the opening track from 2007's Carnival Ride) before dusting off "Wasted" - one of my favourite tracks from her mega-selling debut. By that stage I was expecting the 29-year-old to take a breather and speak to the audience but she plowed straight into the darkly majestic "Two Black Cadillacs". The twisted revenge fantasy has to be the next single from Blown Away. It shows the American Idol champ in a whole new light.

When Carrie finally spoke to the audience, it came as something of a shock to realise that she's actually quite awkward. She struggled gamely to make some banter but it seemed forced and I was grateful when she started belting out a bunch of early hits - mostly from her stunning sophomore set. The country queen tore up "So Small", gave me goosebumps with her pitch-perfect rendition of "Temporary Home", rocked out to "Last Name", melted hearts with "Just A Dream" and came out of her shell to introduce her cover of Randy Travis' "I Told You So". As the show wore on, her initial awkwardness became increasingly endearing and she had definitely loosened up by the time she returned to material from her new album. "Leave Love Alone" sounded meatier live and I was happy to hear another song from the incredibly underrated Play On when she burst into the unintentionally camp "Cowboy Casanova".

Next up was "Nobody Ever Told You", which is probably my least favourite song on Blown Away. It sounds like something from Taylor Swift's debut and is - as such - beneath her. Carrie made up for it by delivering a killer version of her Max Martin-penned country-pop anthem "Quitter". I can't believe the gem wasn't released as a single. America's sweetheart then took it down a notch with a stripped-back trio of songs beginning with "Do You Think About Me". This beautiful mid-tempo ballad is another hit-in-waiting from Blown Away. I'm not sure the same can be said about the lyrically-challenged, reggae-tinged "One Way Ticket". I love it - but for all the wrong reasons! A perky rendition of "Undo It" ended the lo-fi interlude on a high note.

Carrie won a lot of new fans by covering the INXS classic "Never Tear Us Apart". She said she wanted to perform a song by an Australian artist but I was betting on a Keith Urban cover. Her version of the '80s rock-ballad was beautiful. I hope she includes it on a future album. The next two songs were the dual highlights of the show for me. "Jesus Take The Wheel" has never sounded better - the country diva got a well-deserved standing ovation - and "Before He Cheats" still packs a killer punch. I would have happily paid my money just to hear those two songs! After those classics, "Cupid's Got A Shotgun" (one of the less appealing songs from Blown Away) was a bit of a letdown but "I Know You Won't" was a perfect way to end the show. Oklahoma's best export returned shortly afterwards to belt out the new album's title track and really blew me away with her flawless vocal display. Carrie is an absolute superstar. I'm glad Australia is finally waking up to her amazing talent and brilliant music.

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Born This Way Ball - Live In Sydney - Review

It's strange the difference a year can make. When the Monster Ball rolled into town, I was a raised paw (and a smidgen of self-respect) away from being a little monster. The Fame and Fame Monster lifted the bar for modern dance-pop albums and I loved her theatrical stage presence. But the Born This Way era lost me. The album was not very good and the increasingly awful videos demonstrated that she is, essentially, a one trick pony with an increasingly tired message. And yet, I was still excited to see her on Wednesday night. The 26-year-old (stop laughing) is a brilliant live performer and already has a stronger back catalogue than most of your dusty faves. It's a shame then that the Born This Way ball is the concert equivalent of a drag show crossed with a self-help seminar.

Hordes of fans made the pilgrimage to Allphones Arena for Lady Gaga's first of four sold-out Sydney dates in full costume. Pretty impressive given that the stadium is almost an hour by train from the city. It's a long way to go wearing coke-can rollers, hair-bows and pointy shoulder pads! Their dedication can't be faulted and I was genuinely moved when an awkward teenager standing next to me burst into tears at the mere sight of his icon. I know what it's like to be that wrapped up in an artist and I hope he enjoyed every second of show. Lady Gaga really is the second coming for teenage gays and ugly people and she deserves a lot of credit for preaching a positive message of self-acceptance. But it's time to change the record because this shit is starting to get old.

In all fairness, the show began in spectacular fashion. Lady Gaga emerged from what looked Castle Grayskull, chained to the back of a horse. She was then marched around the circular runway by her captors, while belting out "Highway Unicorn (Road To Love)" from underneath a mask. It was dark, gothic and dangerous. This is the kind of visual mayhem Gaga is capable of when she's not trying to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately, it was largely downhill from there. The heinous crime against music otherwise known as "Government Hooker" came next and the stupid talking head from her "Born This Way" video made an appearance to announce a ridiculous narrative that I couldn't follow. Speaking of that crappy song, she finally escaped the confines of her bulky costume to perform it - complete with one of the evening's few well-choreographed dance routines.

Next up was the painfully uncontroversial Black Jesus segment. Mother Monster took the chance to launch into the first of many rants about loving yourself and expressing your individuality. The diva begged the audience not to give a fuck. She should practice what she preaches and stop obsessing over Madonna. But I digress. "Bloody Mary" was a complete non-event and "Bad Romance" wasn't given the epic treatment it deserves. That majestic anthem will stand the test of time unlike 90% of Born This Way and deserved more than a half-arsed dance in the castle courtyard. It was at about this time that the staging really began to annoy me. Lady Gaga is one of the few pop stars that can simultaneously sing and dance but the poor bitch had about two metres of stage to play with. I'm sure the castle cost a fortune but it looked cheap and tacky. This is definitely a case where less would have been more.

"Judas" already sounds dated but the Born This Way ball momentarily came alive when Gaga performed "Just Dance" and "LoveGame". Those hits brought the non-monsters in the audience to their feet and she was genuinely engaging when she talked about how far she had come since the release of the former. It's easy to forget that "Just Dance" was a number one hit in Australia almost a year before it exploded overseas, so I guess we can lay claim to hatching the superstar. Yay? I got a particular kick out of hearing "Telephone" but it's really not the same without Beyoncé there to add some class and sex appeal. It did, however, spark my favourite part of the show when Lady Gaga joked around with fans, making references to '90s bands and cult classic Clueless. This is the woman I want to see more of - not the well-intentioned but frankly annoying self-love advocate that polluted the rest of the show.

For such an expensive production, I think most of her outfits looked like bad Mardi Gras costumes. What's worse - they were just recycled ensembles from videos or the red carpet. Lady Gaga is supposed to be an innovator, so why has her image not evolved for 3 years? One exception was the human motorcycle look she rocked for "Heavy Metal Lover". That was hot and I loved the soft-porn interlude where a dancer pretended to eat her out. Next came "Bad Kids" - one of the best jams from Born This Way - and I started warming up to concert. But alas the closet Loli Lux fan decided to give us a lecture on homosexuality, including the incredibly offensive pearl of wisdom "you don't have to be a cunt to be gay". Excuse me? What kind of stereotypical shit is that? More importantly - who nominated this bitch to be a spokeswoman for the gay community? Is she bi, transgender or a lesbian? Has she had to go through the torture of coming out? No wonder little monsters have a higher suicide rate than unemployed Korean businessmen. She doesn't have a fucking clue what she's talking about.

Speaking of Lady Gaga's growing number of dead fans, the next cringe-worthy moment was a stripped-back ballad version of "Hair" dedicated to the recently departed. I love "Hair". It should have been the album's lead single. It's a brilliant pop song but it's not a fitting tribute - at least lyrically - and I felt genuinely uncomfortable when the bossy singer demanded everyone join her in a prayer. She even got shitty when people refused to take part. Gaga has built her career on preaching acceptance but I guess it doesn't extend to the non-religious. The "Hair" debacle was followed by "You And I". I don't particularly like the track but she sounded great and looked amazing playing the keyboard with one leg perched over a dancer's head. She is a scarily talented performer and could be even better if only she would tone down the increasingly boring performance art aspect of her shsow. She doesn't have to be over the top all the time.

"Electric Chapel" is a complete snooze on record and was just as boring live but sounds like a masterpiece in comparison to "Americano". That pretentious mess - performed in the cheapest plastic imitation of her iconic meat dress - was abysmal. The staging was a complete joke too with female dancers being mutilated in giant meat grinders. I'm sure Lady Gaga thinks she's making an important political statement but it just came across as another lame grab for attention. "Poker Face" still sounds great but isn't it time to start playing with the arrangement? It was just the same old thing with the same dance routine as the video. I was over the Born This Way ball by that stage and did something I haven't done in years - I pushed a bunch of monsters aside and left before the end of the show. The prospect of getting home early was more appealing than seeing the end of the concert. Which speaks volumes.

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Luciana Rocks The Ivy

I've lost track of how many times I've seen Luciana strut her stuff live. I know I've written reviews for a club gig in Adelaide and an unlikely appearance at a pub in Newcastle but I've also witnessed her in action at Luna Park, Nevermind and some random gay bar in Brisbane. Last night the Queen of clubs brought her high-energy spectacular to Sydney's Ivy nightclub and it was definitely one of her best shows yet. The Ivy isn't the easiest place to perform in given the layout and multiple levels but the dance icon rocked the venue to its swanky foundations with a fresh setlist and sexy new look. Loving the green wig!

Luci kicked off the twenty-minute set with her epic Nari + Milani collaboration "I Got My Eye On You". The bone-shaking anthem is a favourite of mine and should have been the official follow-up to "I Like That". Next up was last year's surprise top 40 Australian hit "I'm Still Hot", which allowed the English dance deity to really camp it up on stage. Then came two new additions to Luciana's canon of club hits - forthcoming single "When It Feels This Good" and current UK club chart-topper "We Own The Night". Both songs are extraordinarily good. The former poptastic creation had the crowd singing along by the second verse (always a good sign), while her Tiesto/Wolfgang Gartner collaboration (below) is a stone cold smash. It's already shooting up UK iTunes and could be her biggest hit there in many years. Last but not least was the anthem that sparked Australia's love affair with Luciana. "I Like That" still goes harder than a motherfucker and gets even the drunkest bitches on their feet. She'll be back at The Ivy next Sunday, so make sure you check her out.

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Rebecca Ferguson's Sydney Showcase

I really didn't know what to make of Rebecca Ferguson's debut album when it was released late last year. There was no denying the magnificence of her husky voice but I thought the 2010 X Factor runner-up didn't quite have the material to do her vocal prowess justice. But Heaven has grown on me a lot since then and, after seeing the 25-year-old belt out half the album at the Beresford last night, the penny finally dropped. Rebecca is a superstar. I still think she could do with better material but this girl has something in spades that Leona Lewis and the other pretenders lack. Soul.

After a passionate introduction from Sony head-honcho Denis Handlin, the seductress that corrupted a fifth of One Direction took the stage with her impressive four-piece band. "Glitter & Gold", one of the stand-out tracks on her album, sounded even better live. Rebecca's voice oozed emotion as she made her way through the bittersweet lyrics. This has to be a future single! Next up was "Too Good To Lose" (above), which recently stiffed at #186 on the UK charts. Bec's performance was flawless but this is probably the worst song on Heaven. What were they thinking?

After that came "Shoulder To Shoulder", which is easily my favourite cut from the album. The glamorous mother-of-two gave me chills with her smoky vocals and heartfelt lyrics. Anyone who dismisses Rebecca as another Mother's Day artist needs to download this anthem and take a seat. "Nothing's Real But Love" is just as lovely live as it is on record. I'm so happy to see the song leaping up Australian iTunes. The down-to-earth diva - her casual banter between numbers was adorable - then closed the showcase with "Teach Me How To Be Loved", which she described as the most personal track on Heaven. It's a little gem and showcases Rebecca's potential as a songwriter. I love the sentiment and she injects it with so much heartache. Don't be put off by the X Factor tag. This woman is the real deal.

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Kylie Conquers Luna Park - Anti Tour Review

Kylie's Anti-Tour sounds great in theory. Nobody fucks up single releases and album tracklists with more style and grace than the slightly more successful Minogue. Take 2007's criminally underrated X. Brilliant pop anthems like "Rippin' Up The Disco", "Carried Away", "Fall For You", "Cherry Bomb", "Extraordinary Day" and "Flower" were relegated to bonus track status or discarded completely. That's half of the best album never released right there! But how does a live show comprised of B-sides and rarities work in practice? The answer, after seeing Tuesday night's gig at Luna Park's Big Top, is surprising well. While the majority of Kylie's fans now look like extras from The Walking Dead, their enthusiasm and passion can't be faulted. Every forgotten gem was received like a massive number one hit with MAGs crying and shaking like 12 year-old girls at a One Direction concert. What followed was an unforgettable treat for the faithful and a reminder that the 43-year-old pop legend remains one of the most versatile and compelling live performers in the game.

The setlist for Kylie's first Sydney show (an encore followed later at 10:30pm) remained largely the same as the Melbourne leg - albeit with a couple of minor twists thrown in to keep fans guessing. X bonus track "Magnetic Electric" kicked off the evening's entertainment and was greeted with almost deafening applause. After so many years decades of seeing the rich man's Madonna dressed in elaborate costumes, it was strange and refreshing to see her in cut-off jeans and a singlet. She looked ridiculously hot and fired up the crowd with a joyous rendition of 1988's "Made In Heaven" and the aforementioned Bloodshy & Avant produced hit that never happened "Cherry Bomb". The former was worth the price of admission alone. Next up was the "I Believe In You" B-Side "BPM". Unlike Kylie, that track hasn't aged particularly well and could have been swapped for the exquisite "(Everything) I Know". For example.

After prowling around the stage like a young Debbie Harry, the critically acclaimed Street Fighter actress finally got a chance to catch her breath while performing "Mighty Rivers". That Xenomania-penned Aphrodite bonus track was brought to life with a lush arrangement that showed off her powerful live vocals. It was lovely but I would have preferred the vastly superior Japanese bonus track "Heartstrings", which is probably the best thing Xenomania has ever produced. "Over Dreaming (Over You)" and "Always Find The Time" were well-received steps down memory lane but the inclusion of the ultra-obscure Impossible Princess-era leaked track "You're The One" drew a blank from the crowd and really isn't very good. At all. The confusion soon dissipated with the still magnificent "Tightrope", which, after all these years, remains my favourite track on Fever. Almost as thrilling was the gorgeous Steve Anderson-penned ballad "Paper Dolls". I never thought I'd live to hear two thousand people singing "here we are we're like paper dolls and we're side by side"! So amazing.

Dannii's edgiest sibling then introduced X album track "Stars" by confiding that it was inspired by her battle with breast cancer. I never understood why she left it off her X2008 tour, it's such a great little song. By that stage we had reached the half-way mark and there was still no costume change in sight. The pop-star-doing-a-rock-show vibe reminded me a lot of Intimate & Live. Kylie even seemed to focus on songs from around that era. "Drunk" and Say Hey" (after which that shithole forum is named) represented the most experimental phase of her illustrious career. The lighting concept also changed with '90s rave-lasers beaming down on the audience and the pop icon let loose, dancing around the stage and waving at fans. Next up was “Too Much”, which the diva described as a gift from friends Calvin Harris and Jake Shears, and a pair of Light Years albums tracks – “Bittersweet Goodbye” and “Disco Down”. The former snoozefest was politely-received but the latter up-tempo pop explosion had everyone moving their feet.

“"I Don’t Need Anyone”, another gem from 1997’s Impossible Princess, proved that Kylie can still unleash her inner rock chick, while “Got To Be Certain” – a number one hit in Australia in 1988 – proved to be the most popular song of the night. Given the frenzied fan response, it’s hard to fathom why Keith Washington's one time duet partner has all but disowned the Stock Aitken Waterman-produced classic for 24 years. The show unexpectedly closed with “Things Can Only Get Better” – a fairly unmemorable cut Rhythm Of Love. To put it nicely. With a handful of cherished tracks like “Ocean Blue”, "One Boy Girl" and “Love Takes Over Me” still up her Anti-Tour sleeve, the song proved to be one of the evening’s few missteps. Really, who was knocking back a drink before the gig and thought I really hope she does "Things Can Only Get Better"?

After the shortest of breaks, Kylie returned for an encore wearing baby blue hot-pants and a t-shirt emblazoned with a picture of a woman’s bare breasts. It was an unusual fashion choice but I'm here for old women in appropriate clothing. The incredibly camp but still rather shit “That’s Why They Write Love Songs” – an unreleased anthem she unveiled on the opening night of her X2008 Tour and then promptly discarded - was unexpected but fans were clearly more interested in the snippets of songs she performed by request. There were a couple of verses of the fabulous unreleased track “Lovin’ You” and a sing-a-long rendition of “Word Is Out”. After almost two hours of non-stop music, Ms Minogue concluded the quirkiest tour of her career a pair of songs from Enjoy Yourself. “Tears On My Pillow” was dedicated to her dad, while the title track brought back a flood of memories for fans who have been there since the ‘80s. Kylie proved that she can still hold an audience in the palm of her pretty hand without any of her hits, trademark costume changes and elaborate staging. How many other pop stars – past or present – can say the same?

A rather different version of this review appears on US website Idolator.

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Bic Runga's Belle Showcase

On Tuesday night I dropped by The Vanguard to interview Bic Runga - our chat will appear on another website shortly - and catch her album showcase. It was a big deal for me because I've loved New Zealand's finest export since high school. I've probably played her 2002 triumph Beautiful Collision from beginning to end more often than any other record. With the possible exception of 4. Anyway, Bic is even lovelier than I imagined and the six-year holiday she took between albums hasn't affected her exquisite voice in the slightest.

I have to admit that Belle took me a while to get into. It's probably a little too sophisticated and mature for my ears but hearing a selection of tracks live helped me put it into perspective and I suspect it will turn out to be a massive grower. The 36-year-old songbird belted out the album's first two singles - I really love "Tiny Little Piece Of My Heart" (below) - but the highlight for me was hearing "Sway" again. That gem hasn't aged a day and brings back a million different memories. Bic only performed five songs but her powerful pipes and breathtaking musicianship (she played a different instrument for each number) has left me salivating for her upcoming tour.

Belle is in stores now and is an absolute treat for anyone that likes intricate, emotion-driven pop like Adele, Birdy or Lana Del Rey.

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RuPaul Rocks Brisbane And My World

Gay men across Queensland are currently walking around in neck braces. That's how hard RuPaul rocked Brisbane on the weekend. Spectators were left with whiplash, wig-envy and the overwhelming urge to download La Toya albums. But more about the drag legend's epic performance at the sunshine state's Big Gay Day festival. As you might remember from this post, I got the chance to interview Mr Charles in February. During that conversation we discussed our mutual adoration for the thinking man's Jackson at length. It takes a certain kind of person to appreciate the unbridled genius of genre-defining anthems like this, so I knew I had stumbled upon a kindred spirit. Well, on the night before his first QLD gig in 18 years, we had the chance to continue our chat. RuPaul is an adorable man with a huge heart and a razor sharp wit. I loved discussing La Toya's undeniable impact on popular culture with him as well as explaining my Beyoncé obsession and exploring the gems in Stephanie Mills' back catalogue. It was a lovely and completely surreal experience - so thank you, Ru.

After getting the chance to meet the supermodel of the world, I was even more excited about seeing him strut his stuff live. I saw the great diva's one-song Mardi Gras performance and was looking forward to seeing the full show. That appearance in Sydney drew some negative press but I honestly think it stems from critics not understanding the fundamentals of drag. It's performance art. It's comedy. It's the magic of illusion. In RuPaul's case, it's also about sharing brilliant pop music. I can't believe people went along to his show and complained about trivial shit like backing tapes and back-up dancers. Seriously, bitches - take an aisle full of seats! Rant over. So Brisbane's Big Gay Day is something of an experience. It takes place in a back alley, between a parking station and a pub. RuPaul's dressing room was a truck parked across the street. Guys drove to the venue in their Utes. While the event had a definite... rustic vibe, it was also one of the most relaxed and welcoming pride festivals I've ever attended. People were genuinely excited about the Drag Race mogul's visit and several fans told me they had been supporting Ru for more than twenty years.

As the final support act left the stage at 9pm, the booze was flowing and the anticipation was growing. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a full set or a small showcase. It turned out to be the former. Ru strutted on stage with more attitude than La Toya in her epic and highly influential "You're Gonna Get Rocked" video. The wig and make-up was immaculate and I loved the colourful '70s-tastic jumpsuit. Drag's leading lady began the show with 2009's "Covergirl", which he performed in sultry style against a projection at the back of the stage. Next up was RuPaul's iconic hoodrat anthem "Tranny Chaser". The song has always been on my faves - I like to think of it as the saucy sister of Bey's "Freakum Dress"! - and it sounded great live. I loved Ru's cute quips and he threw in some fierce choreography. That was followed by the title track of last year's Glamazon album. Words can't express how much I worship this jam. This tune needs a video, remixes and radio airplay. It's too much fun to waste!

After a lightning fast costume change, RuPaul returned in a beautiful gown to belt out 2004's "Looking Good Feeling Gorgeous". I'm glad something from Red Hot made the cut. I always thought that album was extremely underrated. "Call Me Starrbooty" was another unexpected inclusion - at least, I thought so - but everyone knew the words. Ru's fans came prepared! It was great to hear a couple of the diva's less familiar gems, particularly when they were performed with so much passion and style. Nobody strikes a pose better than RuPaul. The next anthem whipped the crowd into an even bigger frenzy. "Jealous Of My Boogie" is such a cute song. I love the retro sound and think it was a perfect choice for Big Gay Day. It was then time for the pop icon to close the show with his signature tune. "Supermodel" never gets old. Name-checking the Jacksons was inspired and he walked that stage like Naomi Campbell in her non-crazy hey day. My fellow Toy Soldier then gave me a shout-out saying "Mike, you just got rocked!" Truer words were never spoken. Check out Ru talking about our La Toya talk earlier in the show below. It was so sweet and unexpected. Toy truly does bring people together.

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Jessie J - Live In Sydney

Last September I asked the million dollar question: How do you solve a problem like Jessie J? Well, six months have passed and I'm still no closer to finding the answer. Last night's gig only served to underline everything that's wrong - and right - about one of pop music's most frustrating artists. The 23-year-old Brit has talent to burn and a pocketful of killer tunes. Unfortunately, she's also prone to over-singing even the most basic lyric and has an Adele-sized chip on her shoulder that grates everyone except the most deluded loyal heartbeat. Speaking of the diva's militant fan army, five and a half thousand of them squeezed into a sold-out Hordern Pavillion to see their icon in action and, if their non-stop crying and screaming was any indication, they had the time of their lives. I wish I could say the same.

Jessie J was almost unrecognisable when she strutted on stage. Looking more like Loose-era Nelly Furtado than the bob-wearing tom-boy of her videos, she burst into a vocally flawless rendition of "Who's Laughing Now". Her band was tight and she seemed a lot less awkward than during her recent award show performances. The high standard continued with a funk-heavy version of "Rainbow" and a reggae-tastic interpretation of "Stand Up", which she mashed with Bob Marley's "One Love". Album fave "Casualty Of Love" was followed by a heartbeat-rousing take on her brilliant top 10 hit "Nobody's Perfect". By this stage I was about shed my apprehensions and join the hyperventilating tweens around me but it was mostly downhill from here.

The remainder of the show was very ballad heavy. "Abracadabra", "L.O.V.E." and "Mama Knows Best" were all excuses for Jessie to practice her vocal scales. Most women don't wail like this during childbirth. It's so off-putting and unnecessary. We all know she can sing. All that trilling just makes her sound insane. The perfect example of how she can ruin excellent material with this annoying approach was "Who You Are", which is actually a beautiful song. Unfortunately, all I heard was frantic screaming and a five minute lecture about loving yourself and not giving into haters. We get it, Jessie. Kids hated you at school. But you're rich and famous now - move on! Happily, the encore was great. "Do It Like A Dude" is such a hot mess and bringing a fan on stage to share vocal duties on "Price Tag" was really cute. She saved "Domino" for last and that already hot track sounded ten times better live. I really want to like this chick. Can she please just get over herself and stop shouting?

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Kylie - Live At Mardi Gras

When I woke up on Saturday morning and looked out the window, I pretty much decided to skip Mardi Gras. Rain was pouring from the sky faster than Madonna's latest single fell from the charts and the prospect of spending another party crammed in the RHI with an army of drenched gays and smudged trannies didn't fill me with as much excitement as you might expect. But missing Kylie? Not an option. I've seen that woman perform in three different countries and even planned a holiday around her last appearance at GAY. What's a mild downpour, a little discomfort and a lot of dehydration between old friends?

So there I was squashed between 6,000 screaming party people when Ms Minogue took the stage at 2am. There was no air circulating through the packed-to-capacity venue and I'm pretty sure the temperature was pushing 50 degrees. Gays were dropping like flies and one of my friends had to crawl to an exit to get some air but I wasn't about to miss a second. Kylie appeared on stage looking like a glittering warrior princess and kicked off her first official K25 performance with "Aphrodite". It's not my favourite song by a long shot but it works in a live setting and I was extremely impressed with the lights, staging and costumes. The 43-year-old looked gorgeous in her golden headdress and matching high-high boots and sounded brilliant.

That not-quite-an-anthem was followed by "Wow", which struck me as a much better choice. It doesn't get any gayer than this Greg Kurstin-produced hit! I loved seeing the positive fan response to the song after all the flack it received on release and thought it blended into "In Your Eyes" surprisingly well. Again, that wouldn't be my first choice to represent the all-conquering Fever-era but it was a number one hit in Australia and at least she didn't choose "Love At First Sight". Um. Ok, so that was the next song. I prayed she wouldn't end the show with it - as was her habit for about a decade - but she broke into a beautiful version of "I Believe In You" and everything was back on track.

The sentiment of "I Believe In You" was perfect for the night and I adored the choreography but the best was yet to come. Kylie's Samba-tastic take on "Better The Devil You Know" was pure gold. This is the most interesting interpretation of her signature tune I've ever heard. It was vibrant and silly and utterly irresistible. The pop legend actually shook her famous arse instead of hand-dancing and her energy was infectious. She quickly left the stage for a costume change while her dancers performed acrobatic feats to "Slow" before returning to close with her last Australian top 50 hit "Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)". That relatively unknown track went down well but I had a feeling she would be back from an encore. And Kylie didn't let us down. Sure, she re-emerged looking like tranny roadkill - hands down the worst outfit she has ever worn! - but "All The Lovers" sounded as gorgeous as ever and the young and single man's Minogue proved once again why she is the country's most enduring pop export.

10/10

This is not the look.

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