Dragonette - Still The Most Underrated Act In Pop

Can someone please remind me why Dragonette isn't one of biggest bands on the planet? Martina and the boys have never released a bad single (that I'm aware of) but remain - with the exception of "Hello" - hitless and largely underground. The thing is, I'm guilty of ignoring them too. I downloaded Body Parts when it was released late last year but never got around to listening to it. To be honest, I completely forgot it existed until I stumbled across their latest video on a blog and fell in love with the trio all over again.

"Run Run Run" is an early frontrunner for the best song of 2013. It's the kind of instantly memorable pop triumph that beguiles with its apparent simplicity and deceptively perky lyrics. That might be an odd description but underneath the sparkling chorus lies a bittersweet core that lifts Dragonette's latest synth-adventure to a higher plane. "Run Run Run" positively seeps with sepia-tinged memories and nostalgia, which makes it both beautiful and sad. You basically need it on your iPod. Now.

Having seen the light, I made listening to Body Parts a priority and, as expected, it's breathtakingly good. With any luck "Run Run Run" or another single will save it and bring the band the attention they deserve. In the meantime, revel in the brilliance of their new single and check out the video (below). It's a fairly simple affair. Martina basically gets drunk, smokes cigarettes and walks around the streets with blood on her dress. Just another Sunday afternoon for one of pop's most underrated divas.

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Mia Martina Steals Carly Rae Jepsen's Canadian Pop Crown

As a die-hard Raepist it kills me to admit that Carly is no longer Canada's leading pop diva. Her wig has been ruthlessly snatched by Mia Martina, who is currently burning up the lower reaches of her national top 50 with a brilliant track called "Heartbreaker".

So who is this ravishing vixen and why isn't she a household name? The first part of the question is easy. The 29-year-old Canuck scored a top 10 hit with a cover of Edward Maya's "Stereo Love" in 2010 and released her debut album a year later. I haven't heard Devotion but hunting down a copy on eBay is currently on the top of my to-do list.

As for the dance deity's relatively low profile, I'm really not sure. Maybe the world just wasn't ready for Mia but that could change with "Heartbreaker". The first time I heard the bone-rattling club anthem, I thought it was Wynter Gordon's "Dirty Talk". There are some similarities but it's not a copy. The Canadian's track goes harder. That bassline is heavier than Adele and the beat never lets up. I particularly love the insightful lyrics about being sexy and the hands-in-the-air chorus. This could work in Australia - record companies take note.

I'll leave you with the stunning visual, which plays like music video equivalent of Sin City. It might as well be animated given all the special effects but it's different. I'll give it that. Prepare to be slayed.

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Why Is Carly Rae A Flop? Tonight I'm Getting Over You - Video Review

The continued failure of Carly Rae Jepsen to capitalise on the mammoth worldwide success of "Call Me Maybe" remains one of life's great mysteries. Like the sale of Filet-O-Fish burgers at McDonald's. Seriously, who buys that shit? The problem is not the music. As any discerning pop fan can attest, Kiss was one of finest recordings of 2012. There isn't a dud song on that album. Sure, some of it is kind of embarrassing if you're not a 12-year-old girl but even those bitches are snubbing Carly's flawless music. What the fuck is going on?

After minutes of deep thought, I've carefully come up with the following potential causes:

1. She's Canadian

Let's face it. Nobody's here for that backwater but being Canadian hasn't hindered Justin Bieber's chart prospects - so it can't be that.

2. Bad song choices

There aren't any bad songs on Kiss apart from the ballads, which I have long since deleted, so this is not an issue.

3. Her dumb fringe

Getting warmer. Carly has the worst hair in music and bitches obviously can not deal with that heinous 'do.

4. Age inappropriateness

It's occasionally disconcerting that a woman staring down her 30th birthday sings about steamy issues like holding hands and making wedding rings from guitar strings but Madonna has been making music for teenage gays since 1983 - so we're obviously willing to turn a blind eye to this. The mystery deepens.

5. Justin Bieber association

While being associated with JB clearly helped Carly get noticed, it could also be her downfall. Female and gay (ie. all) Beliebers are incredibly jealous and the fact that they toured together obviously got her blacklisted. It also made it easy for everyone over the age of 16 to dismiss the flop diva as a teen joke, when - in reality - her music is closer aligned to Kylie Minogue than Selena Gomez.

6. Carly's videos are terrible

Take "Tonight I'm Getting Over You". I love this song. The production is current and radio-friendly. It would be a massive hit if was recorded by someone it isn't embarrassing to openly like. To get over the Carly Rae stigma, you would film a gritty video to remind people that she's a grown woman and knows how to churn out an edgy club-banger? Right? Wrong. This silly bitch makes out with a guy young enough to be her son - trust me, they never get past first base because Carly obviously has a vagina just like Barbie - and then acts a fool by sitting in an empty room sprawled over an old TV set when not staring through lace curtains like a crazy person. What the fuck?

It's a sad day when a pretty woman in the twilight of her youth with a reed thin but capable voice can not bag a hit with the assistance of today's hottest hitmakers. I feel like homosexuals have really dropped the ball and can only repent by gifting "Tonight I'm Getting Over You" to everyone they know. Let the Carly Rae revival start here!

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Why I Respect Nelly Furtado - Bucket List Review

Nelly Furtado raised the bar for flopping with The Spirit Indestructible. Her last English language recording sold 10 million copies worldwide, while 2012's comeback effort sold a paltry 6,000 copies first week. In all fairness, the criminally underrated album turned out to be a steady seller in some parts of Europe - namely, Germany where she has always been disproportionately popular to the rest of the world. Kind of like Pink in Australia. Most divas would have hung up their microphone in shame and distanced themselves from the project faster than Taylor Swift's eyes scan a room for single men but Nelly is still promoting that fucker like it's 21. Respect.

I wish more artists would show this kind of commitment to an album. What does it say about the level of pride in your work and the faith in your artistic vision if you just give up because you missed the top 20? Kylie took a similar approach with Impossible Princess in the late '90s when the UK basically laughed in her face and sent her packing back to Australia. It turned out to be the turning point for her career. That might not happen with Nelly but she's just debuted the video for her fifth - and best - single from The Spirit Indestructible and is currently winding up a tour of Canada and Europe. Let's hope Christina and Ke$ha show similar dedication to their underperforming but vastly more successful albums.

That takes us back to "Bucket List". A low-key Darkchild production that wouldn't sound out of place on Folklore, the moody track perfectly showcases the Canadian diva's quirky voice and knack for writing melancholy lyrics. Like the rest of her album, it's completely uncommercial - the video begins with an intro about the dangers of dying alone and unfulfilled! - but it would probably be massive with the indie-pop crowd if it was recorded by an 18-year-old hipster with no life experience. The video is cheap. Like it was literally filmed between tour stops but I can't get over how beautiful Nelly looks. This era might have failed commercially but she can hold her head up high.

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Melanie Fiona's Incredible 'Change The Record'

Is it just me or has the music industry shut up shop early this year? I know things wind down in December but we're in the middle of a pop drought and I'm starting to get thirsty! Labels have responded by churning out singles from long-dead albums just to have something on radio, which is allowing a couple of forgotten gems to have their moment to shine. The most notable is Melanie Fiona's "Change The Record".

To be honest I had all but forgotten about the Canadian soul singer. I loved her debut but just couldn't get into The MF Life. With one exception. "Change The Record" stands out on Melanie's sophomore set like Adele in Ethiopia. It's a bouncy pop hit with a distinct retro undercurrent courtesy of producer Los Da Mystro. He's not exactly in the same league as RedOne or Dr. Luke but the frequent The-Dream collaborator was responsible for Bey's epic "Schoolin' Life" and the only amazing song on Unapologetic (ie. "Nobody's Business") - so he's definitely one to watch.

This is proof that Mel can mix it up. Her soul ballads are unreal but she's had diminishing returns on the charts, so a catchy upbeat number with a hot rapper - B.o.B's contribution fits perfectly - is a good idea. I hope "Change The Record" gets promoted because it's incredible. Watch the cheap and cheerful video below. I may have to dust off my copy of The MF Life and have another listen.

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Canada's Favourite Lesbians Take Pop To Soaring New Heights On 'Closer'

"Closer" might not be the best song of 2012 but it's definitely in the running. The irresistibly perky pop anthem has been burning up my iPod for months but I thought Tegan and Sara had decided against filming a video. The song was released in mid-September! Anyway, sanity has prevailed and Greg Kurstin's cutest production since Kylie's "Wow" now has a suitably fun clip. That looks like it cost $10 and took ten minutes to film. Whatever.

I'm just elated "Closer" is finally getting a commercial push. Canada's favourite lesbian twins get everything right. This is what The Veronicas would sound like if they worked with decent producers and weren't complete shit. The chorus is pure bliss, their harmonies are perfection and those slinky synths were dragged kicking and screaming out of the '80s. If you haven't heard "Closer" yet, brace yourself for a career-best offering from the much-loved indie-pop legends. Love this.

10/10

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Queen Celine Returns With A Typically Amazing Pop Song

Celine Dion released a new single LAST MONTH? What? I feel like the internet has personally betrayed me. News as world-shattering as this should have been plastered around the web like ads for erectile dysfunction. Instead I have to learn about the legendary diva's return while Googling Mylène Farmer's range of sex-toys? (Don't ask). I will never get over this!

"Parler à Mon Père" is the lead single from the pop legend's new French opus Sans attendre, which is headed my way courtesy of Amazon. I pretty much love everything Celine does but this sweet ode to her father is one of her perkiest mid-tempo pop ballads in years. It reminds me of "Falling Into You", which is a very good thing. Her vocal is sublime and the sultry production hits the spot.

And there's even a stunning big budget video. Canada's gift to the world takes soft lighting to previously unimagined heights, swirling around in front of lens that appears to be covered in enough Vaseline to lube Adele's arsehole. It goes without saying that Celine looks absolutely ravishing parading around the desert like a saucy siren while images of her dead father flash on screen. Subtlety was never her strong point.

I can't wait to hear the rest of the album but I've even more excited to learn that she's releasing new English-language material in April! If it's anywhere near as brilliant as "Taking Chances", I will be well and truly slayed. Join me in welcoming Celine back.

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Canada's Finest Pop Export Returns To End Cher Lloyd's Career.

Holy pop icon Elise Estrada won the Pop Panel in November 2010 with "You're So Hollywood". The high-camp number 98 smash proved irresistible to the judges and I became an overnight fan, snapping up her flaw-free album when I was in Canada last year. A couple of months ago the pop pioneer's new single leaked and I was instantly smitten. "Piece Of Me" takes popular music to the next level with stunning lyrics like "I know whatcha wishin' for from Santa, you want me to peel ya banana" and the cutest chorus of 2012.

Elise has delivered a genuinely great pop song but - to my knowledge - it has never been officially released due to a hate campaign by pressed Cher Lloyd fans, who think the glorious anthem rips off "Want U Back". I have two words for them. Get fucked. This woman is too elite and classy to worry about nobodies like Cher. She's too busy ruling the Canadian airwaves! I hope this is just a momentary setback because "Piece Of Me" deserves its chance to shine. Listen to a preview of the Asian beauty's musical poetry below and join me in begging Elise for the full video.

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Carly Rae Jepsen's This Kiss - Video Review

From Carly Simon to Carly Rae Jepsen. Sounds about right for this blog. I know I haven't found the time to review it - and probably never will - but I'm obsessed with Kiss. The Biebus-approved Canadian pop princess delivers a SAW-era Kylie album (massive compliment) at a time when most bitches are singing about being gang-banged. There's a refreshing innocence about the whole affair that sets it apart and "This Kiss" is as good an example as any of what the album has to offer.

Produced by Redfoo (the sexy half of LMFAO) and the 26-year-old's boyfriend Matthew Koma, the song is basically about being attracted to someone who is not your boyfriend. If they gave this to Rihanna, she'd be singing about being fucked up the arse in a toilet cubicle while her man, mother and grandparents observe. Carly, on the other hand, just dances with the dude and then laments "I couldn't, I couldn't!" You just know she ran to church and confessed her sins after leaving the club.

I was expecting an equally candy-coated video but "The Kiss" is a fairly generic club clip, which is disappointing. If you're going to release a pop tune fit for a Disney princess, you might as well compliment it with an equally over-the-top visual. Instead, Carly just goes to the club with friends, looks incredibly awkward and jumps into a pool at the end. That's literally it.

The video (below) is put together competently enough and Justin Bieber's cash cow looks cute but she's just come off one of the biggest hits of 2012. Why wouldn't they throw more money and imagination at the follow-up? I feel like I've seen this 100 times before. Oh well. "This Kiss" is still a great song and I hope it's a hit. Carly is a breath of fresh air and girls with promise rings need pop stars too.

Song: 9/10, Video: 6/10

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Nelly Furtado's Parking Lot - Single/Video Review

Nelly Furtado's eagerly-anticipated (by me) fifth album was released last week to very little fanfare. The Spirit Indestructible didn't even dent the top 100 on Australian iTunes. It's a sad fate when you consider the Canadian diva's last English-language opus Loose went to #1 in nine countries and sold more than 10 million copies worldwide. The problem hasn't been the quality - I loved "Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)" and grew to appreciate "Spirit Indestructible" (despite it having the worst intro of 2012) but they completely missed the mark commercially. The former was way too experimental and the latter sounded like a cut from 2007 gone wrong. Everything is now riding on single number three.

Produced by Rodney 'Darkchild' Jerkins, "Parking Lot" is a brilliant piece of pop. I love the relentless synths and the simple lyrics are deceptively clever. It's also curiously put together with (arguably) two different choruses and a demented spoken interlude. Nelly has created something unique, stretching the boundaries of pop with the skill of Santigold. But when was the last time Santigold had a hit? I fear "Parking Lot" is too left-field for radio and will, most likely, be ignored by tastemakers due to the performance of her last two singles. It would be a shame because this is the ultimate grower. A couple of listens to this breezy jam and you're hooked. Trust me.

As for the video, it's pretty good. For starters, Nelly has not looked sexier this era. She came across as a crazy woman in her "Big Hoops" video and then reverted to her typical earth mother persona for "The Spirit Indestructible". This time around, the 33-year-old is revisiting her Loose-era vamp image. It's basically "Promiscuous" - the sequel - but I'm not complaining. She looks like a pop star again and does her best with the basic choreography. I like all the pretty lights and quick cuts and think the literal set-up works well on this occasion. Fingers crossed it's not too late for Nelly to make her presence felt on the charts.

Song = 9/10, Video = 7/10

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Nelly Furtado's Big Hoops Video Is As Crazy As The Song

Nelly Furtado can do no wrong in my eyes. I love her quirky voice, genre-hopping ways and bad Spanish. I also seem to be one of the few people that love her comeback single - at least if its non-existent chart run is any indication. The Canadian's camp must be concerned. Her last English language album sold ten million copies around the world and spawned era-defining hits like "Maneater", "Say It Right" and "Promiscuous". Meanwhile "Big Hoops" is yet to crack the the US iTunes top 200. That's what happen when you wait 6 years! It also doesn't help that the song is crazier than Courtney Love. Darkchild and Nelly were clearly smoking the good stuff when they settled on a half-spoken, chorus-free jam about earrings as a calling card for her new album.

The bizarre thing is that it works. Kind of. Rodney's production goes hard and there are enough little hooks to pull you in. Unfortunately, you need to hear it ten times for shit to click and most people obviously can't be fucked. It will be interesting to see if the video (below) helps her cause. I love how demented it is but I'm sure a lot of people will be scratching their heads. In a nutshell - Nelly walks around on stilts, dances (very) awkwardly, makes weird hand gestures and turns into a Godzilla-sized creature. Oh and there are some random American Indian hoop-spinners. Why not? Fingers crossed it takes off because I need this album to work so we get an Australian tour!

And if the original version of "Big Hoops" doesn't push your buttons, check out the Wideboys remix (bottom of post). This is the gayest shit I've heard in ages. Needless to say, I'm mildly obsessed.

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Lights Gets It Right

Lights is one of those critically acclaimed electro-pop divas that I really want to like but can't quite get into. The Canadian's first album was more my tumbler of vodka but her latest effort "Siberia" left me cold. Pun intended. It's just an achingly hip mess - albeit with a couple of really good songs thrown into the mix. One of those gems is "Banner" and, happily, it has just been released as the album's third single in Australia.

Even more exciting is confirmation that the synth-siren is headed our way for a tour in June. Valerie (her real name) will open for The Jezabels on their national tour and, by all accounts, she is amazing live. I can't wait to see her in action and I know "Banner" will be a highlight. This is the kind of gloriously anthemic electro-goodness that makes you want to kick Robyn to the curb and move on. It's subtle and brooding enough for the cool crowd, while that huge pop chorus appeals to everyone else.

Even the video (below) is a minor triumph. Playing like a emo-version of Mad Max, Lights finds some trouble on the highway. Which she solves by waving a rag in the air. It's better than it sounds. Trust me!

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Biebus Annoints Carly Rae Jepsen The Next Big Thing

NYE 2011 was a momentous occasion in Carly Rae Jepsen's life. On that date, Biebus parted the clouds and floated down from the heavens to lavish praise on her latest single "Call Me Maybe" - naming it "possibly the catchiest song ever" on Twitter. A couple of weeks later, Justin announced that Carly had been signed to his label and was now ready for Bieber-assisted superstardom. And the effect was immediate. The 26-year-old Canadian's perky pop anthem rocketed to #1 in her homeland and sold double platinum. So who is the chosen one?

It turns out Carly came third on Canadian Idol in 2007 and already has a moderately successful album behind her. I haven't heard any of her old material but I wouldn't mind checking it out if the standard is as high as "Call Me Maybe". This is a great record - think Jennifer Paige on ecstasy - and deserves to be massive. Amazingly, a couple of tweets from Justin and fellow saint Selegend was enough to propel the track into the Australian iTunes top 50 this week with no airplay. Carly needs to jump on a plane to Sydney today because her North American smash is on the verge of blowing up here.

Check out the cute clip below.

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Judging Hits In The Digital Age - The Avril Lavigne Case Study

How do you judge a hit these days? It sounds like a stupid question. You just go to iTunes or check your country's latest official chart. Right? I'd argue it's not that easy. The extinction of physical singles has resulted in a downloading free-for-all. You can now grab a couple of album tracks from Coldplay's new cure for insomnia as well as your favourite Christmas carol and that song Reece covered on X Factor. No complaints here. I do exactly same thing but are any of those chart-eligible mp3s representative of week's hottest singles? I'd argue no. When you throw in the unavoidable bias for artists with young or militant gay fans (ie. the people who are actually willing to spend $2.19 on a stupid computer file), the whole thing becomes even more skewered. The situation is worse in America where radio play and views on social media platforms like YouTube enter the mix. Does anyone really understand how the Billboard Charts are calculated? For starters, who is Ace Hood and why are all the country songs stalled between 60 and 80 on the Hot 100? But I digress.

The inspiration for this post was actually the success - at least to my mind - of Avril Lavigne's "Wish You Were Here". I instantly adored the Max Martin/Shellback-produced ballad when I first listened to "Goodbye Lullaby" way back in February and have grown to love it more with each passing month. However, even I thought the Canadian diva was wasting her time when she decided to release it as a single in September. The album had been dead for months and the once all-conquering pop-rocker appeared to be one of those unfortunate artists who are cursed with an ageing fanbase that can't be bothered with, or simply don't understand, the wonderful of legal downloading. Janet, Madonna and Mariah all feel her pain!

But then something strange happened. "Wish You Were Here" crawled its way up the pop airplay chart despite being added to approximately half the number of channels as current radio titans like Rihanna and Katy Perry. That encouraged Avril to sing on a couple of late-night talkshows and the emotional anthem started climbing the US iTunes chart and recently debuted at 99 on the Hot 100. Those achievements combined with the understated video's 50 million+ views on YouTube (more than recent clips from Beyoncé, Britney and Lady Gaga) make the song a raging success in my book. If she benefited from a tenth of the blog coverage of those divas and was given a fair shot at radio, I'm sure she would be celebrating another top 10 hit. It will be interesting to see if Avril's latest can keep on going or has already done its dash. Either way, "Wish You Were Here" has connected with people in a way that I don't believe is accurately reflected by its lacklustre charts position. Check out the clip below and download it from iTunes if it pushes your buttons. Be festive and help a bitch out!

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