STOP PRESS: Nicole Scherzinger Is Finally Going To Happen

She's baaaaack!Lock up your faves! Nicole Scherzinger is back for her third crack at solo stardom and this time it's really going to happen. No, really!I'm so excited I can hardly speak. The prettiest Puakenikeni in pop is such an underrated talent. Her Name Is Nicole is the best album never released and Killer Love deserved a lot more respect than it received. I still listen to tracks like "Don't Hold Your Breath", "Say Yes", "You Will Be Loved"...

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Will.i.am + Britney = The Worst Video Of 2012

Seriously, what is this shit? I feel like I just watched the world's worst commercial for electronic goods. These two fools are all over Twitter carrying on like they just filmed The Matrix and then deliver this green-screen nightmare? BYE. I can't even be bothered reviewing it. Will.i.am looks embarrassed, Britney thinks she's doing a photoshoot for middle-aged women gone wild and the director just wants his name removed from the credits. Deluded...

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Canada's Favourite Lesbians Take Pop To Soaring New Heights On 'Closer'

"Closer" might not be the best song of 2012 but it's definitely in the running. The irresistibly perky pop anthem has been burning up my iPod for months but I thought Tegan and Sara had decided against filming a video. The song was released in mid-September! Anyway, sanity has prevailed and Greg Kurstin's cutest production since Kylie's "Wow" now has a suitably fun clip. That looks like it cost $10 and took ten minutes to film. Whatever.I'm just...

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Jessica Mauboy Rules Sony Showcase

With the ARIAs looming, labels are parading all their prize ponies at showcases this week. Sony chose The Beresford for their event and presented their register of hitmakers. Justice Crew warmed up the crowd with their massive number one hit "Boom Boom", Johnny Ruffo was less embarrassing live than I expected and Timomatic "did it for Nigeria". Represent! The reality show-raised trio put on a great show but the label saved the best for last with...

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Nicki Minaj Is Officially A Flop - Tickets Heavily Reduced For Sydney Show

Now this is embarrassing. It looks like Nicki Minaj has traveled all the way to Australia to be greeted by a half-empty crowd at Sydney's Entertainment Centre on Friday night. While fellow American Idol judge Mariah Carey sold out the much-larger All Phones arena in just 4 minutes last week, Onika's flop concert has been on sale for months with next-to-no interest. In a desperate bid to save face, promoters are now offering tix for $60 - a huge discount....

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Is This Not The Most Beautiful Thing You've Ever Seen?

Lana Del Rey is the official queen of limited edition shit. The Paradise boxset had me mesmerised for days and now I can add her exquisite "Ride" CD single to my collection of stunning memorabilia. I'll never understand why pop stars - and labels for that matter - don't do this more often. At least the Born To Die diva understands that fans still want to connect with their faves and spend money on random crap....

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Gimme A Rihfund - Unapologetic Album Review

Rihanna is yet to release a truly great album - or even a moderately good one, for that matter. It's no surprise then that Unapologetic is a monumental failure on every level. The captain of the world's most incompetent Navy has always been a singles artist. That's fine. Some divas have mastered the art of the three and a half minute pop song but don't have the depth or talent to hold your interest for 40 minutes. Look at Madonna and Britney. They...

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Madonna To Record Lana Del Rey Tribute Album

Joking! I just needed an excuse to post this pic. I hope she gets the hi...

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Another Day, Another Kelly Rowland Video

Kelly Rowland is now the undisputed queen of refined pussy-poppin' rap collaborations. Congrats! In the past couple of weeks the former Destiny's Child backing vocalist got Ludacris all hot and bothered on "Representin" and sang about putting frozen water in her vagina with Lil Wayne. Unfortunately, neither of those songs have scaled the upper reaches of any chart but she might have more luck with Big Boi's "Mama Told Me". I really like this perky...

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Lock Up Your Faves - Cher Is Back!

Words can not describe what this song is doing to me right now so I'll keep it short. Cher just unleashed the first taste of her forever-in-the-making 26th studio album and it's everything I was hoping for and more. "Woman's World" is basically "Strong Enough 2012", which is fine with me. I love that she's staying true to the gays by releasing ridiculous dance music with lyrics about burning up the club. She's 66! Is she singing about an RSL? More excitingly, the living legend has obviously worked with some decent producers because "Woman's World"...

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Lupe Fuentes - Porn Star Turned Pop Diva

I've featured a few dubious divas on this blog over the past couple of months - think Liza Monet and Noelia - but Lupe Fuentes is probably the most notorious. She is an extremely popular Colombian porn star, who is best known for her height or lack thereof. The pint-sized sex worker is only 4 foot 9 inches tall. Her other claim to fame is being threatened with deportation from the United States after appearing on the Howard Stern show. The logical...

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Xtina's Legendary AMA Performance

I know I'm late on this but I just had to pay tribute to the best live performance of 2012. Christina Aguilera's Lotus medley shook my world to its very foundations earlier this week. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or fall to my knees and worship. The performance is such a piping hot mess that it transcends criticism and becomes something quite magical.There's nothing wrong with Xtina's vocal. She sounded fine and I approve of her eating for...

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Samantha Jade Wins X Factor, Gets A Second Chance To Shine

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Samantha Jade's utterly fabulous but completely unsuccessful pre-X Factor career and mused: "I'd be surprised if Sam wins - her stunning beauty and flawless vocals will no doubt alienate the frumpy girls who have nothing better to do than vote!" I'm happy to say I was wrong. The 25-year-old beauty won the competition last night and now has a second chance at the pop stardom she deserved the first time around.Sammi's...

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Britney & will.i.am = Big Fat Bass-ics

Is this it? Are you sure it's not an unfinished demo? No? Shit. I can't believe the intern pretending to be Britney on Twitter has been raving about this awful will.i.am collaboration for weeks. A high-profile feature is a good way of regaining some of the ground she lost when Femme Fatale tanked but this is the X Factor judge's worst single since... "Hold It Against Me". I thought it was humiliating for a legend like Nicole Scherzinger to sing about...

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Queen Thalía Is Back To Reclaim Her Throne

Paulina Rubio is huddled in a ball somewhere in Mexico City, crying bitter tears of sadness and frustration. The poor bitch spent all that money recording an album with RedOne, while her nemesis Thalía releases a random ballad produced by a nobody and effortlessly snatches her wig. Don't worry, Pau. You're still big in Chueca! I have to admit that Thalía isn't my favourite Mexican diva. I worshiped her English language album - particularly "I Want...

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Further Proof That Warrior Will Revolutionise Pop - Ke$ha Unleashes 'C'mon'

If you're a total failure of a human being and not counting down the seconds until Warrior is released, here's yet another reason to get correct and accept Ke$ha as the one indisputable truth. "C'mon" has been released as a buzz single to remind the world that she is - without doubt - the greatest electro-pop star on the planet. I have no doubt her future Grammy award-winning, multi-platinum smash will change the way we think about music forever....

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Remembering Christina's Reflection

So I dropped into JB Hi-Fi this afternoon to buy Lotus, most likely doubling sales in NSW. As one of the few people that actually like Xtina's new album, it was nice to finally hold a physical copy in my hands. The experience got me thinking about the first time I bought a Christina Aguilera CD. That was, scarily enough, way back in 1998. I vividly remember stumbling across "Reflection" in the music section of Grace Bros (these were the days before...

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Mariah Carey Is Coming To Sydney !!!

*plays Daydream on repe...

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Ricki-Lee's New Video Is Not Crap

My feud with Ricki-Lee is officially on hold. I really like "Burn It Down" and think the video is her best effort since "Don't Miss You" - you know the one where she gets drunk on a boat? Fuck, I love that song. More importantly, I respect the fact that she's still promoting Fear & Freedom despite its chart run. Hopefully, this song can turn it around. "Never Let Go" is equally amazing - so there's some life left in the album. I also approve...

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Kelly Rowland's Vagina Takes Centre Stage - 'Ice' Video Review

Beyoncé's favourite backing vocalist had an epiphany a while back. Her voice wasn't getting much attention, so she shifted the focus to her vagina. It turned out to be an inspired career move. "Motivation" delayed her seemingly inevitable exile to Ashanti's island of failed R&B singers and she's been working those golden pussy lips ever since. Fair play. I like the vast majority most of Kelly's racy sex anthems - strippers need soothing background...

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Carmen Electra Returns To Pop Music After A 19 Year Break!

Is this real life? Mariah is coming to Australia, two fifths of the Spice Girls have reunited and Carmen Electra just slayed all our faves with her first single in 19 years. It's more than my brain can handle! I had no idea Carmen - Baywatch beauty and Aerobic Striptease workout mogul - was even back in the studio but I guess a girl has to pay the bills somehow. Well, time has not wearied the triple threat's vocal genius. "I Like It Loud" is an absolute...

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Christina Aguilera's Lotus - Album Review

I spent a ridiculous amount of time listening to Christina Aguilera's Lotus over the weekend, so I could let it all sink in and review it with an open mind. The usual cunts have already written it off citing the failure of "Your Body" to set the charts on fire but I don't get why everyone is so concerned about sales. It's like you all became accountants just to drag Xtina. Surely it's more important that big-lunged diva has regrouped and delivered...

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Melanie C & Emma Bunton Record The Gayest Duet Of 2012

^ Deceased at "you might meet Melanie in London!"Between the fits of hysterical laughter and tears of embarrassment, I'm finding it quite hard to type - so this is going to be a short post. Former Spice Girls/failed pop stars Emma Bunton and Melanie C have joined forces to record an insanely tragic cover of "I Know Him So Well". You know that ridiculously over-the-top ballad from Chess? No? Ask your mother. Anyway, it was written by Benny Andersson...

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Mariah Carey To Slay Australia In 2013

After spending the last few days locked in my room playing "Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)" on repeat, I'm finally able to compute with the life-changing news that Mimi is coming back to Australia for the first time in 15 years. What's more - she'll be here in less than two months!Yes, Lambs - Mimi is spending NYE in Australia with Nick and dem babies before performing two exclusive shows.The record-breaking diva will do an intimate gig on...

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Q&A: Lianne La Havas Talks Older Men And Great, Great Music

If you haven't checked out Lianne La Havas yet, you need to get correct and buy her album today. Is Your Love Big Enough? is one of those rare critically-acclaimed debuts that actually lives up to the hype. She blends elements of folk and soul from different eras to create a timeless collection of songs that document a young woman with a clever wit and a big heart. I was lucky enough to have a quick phone chat with the rising star as she headed to...

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Don't Judge Me For Loving Breezy's New Smash

Chris Brown is a complete mess - won't someone think of poor Karrueche! - but I learned to separate an artist's personal life from their chosen profession when Michael Jackson started having sleepovers at Neverland. And Breezy's music is, more often than not, completely amazing. I'm mildly obsessed with Fortune and think it's one of the year's most underrated albums (by a woman beater). Songs like "Don't Wake Me Up" and "Sweet Love" are expert examples...

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Anastacia Returns. Remains Irrelevant And Embarrassing.

Full disclosure. I was never a big fan of Anastacia. I think I was always turned off by her stupid sunglasses and grating voice. But she was unavoidable in the early 2000s and I somehow ended up buying all her albums - even Heavy Rotation, which defined career-ending flop well before the release of MDNA. My favourite was definitely 2004's self-titled effort, which boasts two of the diva's best songs - "Left Outside Alone" and "Sick And Tired". She...

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Bionic Revisited - Hideous Mess Or Misunderstood Masterpiece?

In 2010 I reviewed Bionic and pretty much teared Xtina's experimental offering apart. My opinion has softened over the years - the ballads are really very good - but I did my best to pretend the album didn't exist until earlier this week when Idolator asked me to revisit the much-maligned opus to celebrate the release of Lotus. I was terrified at first and had a bottle of holy water ready to throw over my laptop if needed but the album holds up rather...

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Rihanna's 'Diamonds' - Video Review

unfortunately she doesn't drownBritney was terrifying during the Femme Fatale era. That vacant stare, those robotic interviews and her complete and utter lack of involvement made it uncomfortable to watch. However, Rihanna is turning manufactured pop-puppetry into artform with Unapolgetic. Did the poor man's Shontelle even know she had an album coming out until her label announced it on Twitter? It's not like the lazy bitch has a single songwriting...

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Mylène Returns With The Moody 'A L'Ombre'

Add another sure-to-be-amazing pop album to the long list of blockbusters being released over the next few weeks. French icon Mylène Farmer is about to unleash her 9th studio album upon the homosexuals of Europe and it's shaping up to be another winner. Initial reviews of lead single "A L'Ombre" have been surprisingly mixed but I like it. A lot. Roughly translated as "In The Shadows", the eerie track is a typically classy affair with poetic lyrics...

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Ke$ha's New Video Gave Me Epilepsy And I Fucking Loved It

Stop your entire fucking life! Ke$ha's erection-inducing "Die Young" video has finally hit the net and it's every bit as awe-inspiring as we've come to expect from the Queen of soul and many other genres. So where to start? Probably with a warning. If you suffer from epilepsy or took a lot of drugs in the '90s, you might want to watch the clip through sunglasses. My head was spinning so fast by the end of K$'s Apocalypse-themed visual that I now...

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Queen Celine Returns With A Typically Amazing Pop Song

Celine Dion released a new single LAST MONTH? What? I feel like the internet has personally betrayed me. News as world-shattering as this should have been plastered around the web like ads for erectile dysfunction. Instead I have to learn about the legendary diva's return while Googling Mylène Farmer's range of sex-toys? (Don't ask). I will never get over this!"Parler à Mon Père" is the lead single from the pop legend's new French opus Sans attendre,...

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Beyoncé Saves America From Mitt Romney!

It's official. Beyoncé is a living saint! I've suspected as much for a while now but the 16-time Grammy winner cemented her status as the Mother Theresa of soul music by using her celebrity and white people-friendly blond wigs to push Obama across the line. PRAISE HER! Queen B even broke the law by posting a picture of her ballot paper (above). No doubt this already-iconic act of rebellion spurred millions of fans to perform their civic duty and...

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Kat DeLuna Promotes Viva

Kat DeLuna has already started promoting Viva (AKA the best record of 2013). The Dominican diva mentioned the eagerly-awaited opus on the red carpet on her way to Just Jared's Halloween party. Could your fave be this dedicated to her art? The Latin goddess is so sweet. I love how down-to-earth she is and I'm blown away by that stunning outfit. Queen Kat looks amazing and no doubt drummed up a lot of interest in her two biggest hits at the A-List...

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Ke$ha Performs 'Die Young' On Australian X Factor. Kills The Game.

Ke$ha conquered Australian TV earlier this evening with a game-changing performance of her international smash hit "Die Young". It's always a revelation to see the greatest wordsmith of our time ply her trade but this was particularly breathtaking. The unstoppable hitmaker humiliated your wigless fave with glorious live vocals, dazzling choreography and peerless musicianship. I've watched this ten times and I still can't process her magnificence. How can one woman possess so much charisma and sex appeal? Prepare to be slay...

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Brandy Drops The Cheapest Video Of 2012

What the hell is this? Brandy doing bad choreography in front of 10 people she paid to look mildly interested is not the basis for a video - particularly when the super-catchy "Put It Down" turned out to be something of a sleeper hit. This mess (below) looks like it was thrown together on Windows Moviemaker by Ray J after his second bottle of Patron. I know it's hard to fund big budget clips when you're on the grind - and the D List - but I've seen...

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Canada's Finest Pop Export Returns To End Cher Lloyd's Career.

Holy pop icon Elise Estrada won the Pop Panel in November 2010 with "You're So Hollywood". The high-camp number 98 smash proved irresistible to the judges and I became an overnight fan, snapping up her flaw-free album when I was in Canada last year. A couple of months ago the pop pioneer's new single leaked and I was instantly smitten. "Piece Of Me" takes popular music to the next level with stunning lyrics like "I know whatcha wishin' for from Santa,...

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