The Unexpected Return Of Nick Clow

A couple of days ago, I profiled Luciana's stylist. Today it's her husband's turn. Apart from making the Queen of Clubs an honest woman, Nick Clow is also a successful songwriter - he co-writes with Luci - and a former R&B crooner turned accidental dance dynamo. It's a bit complicated but the silver fox had a brief and incredibly underrated solo career in the late '90s under the pseudonym Blood. I liked and bought (see below) his music at the...

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David Burgoyne - The Creative Force Behind Luciana

 I've profiled a lot of different pop stars on this site over the years but never anyone from the team behind them. My bad. Now more than ever, music is a visual medium. Like it or not but style and image counts - making artistic types like David Burgoyne an essential part of the creative process. The hirsute Brit has been working with Luciana for the best part of two decades. He looks after her luscious locks, helps choose her outfits and films...

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Laura Imbruglia Pioneers Werewolf Pop With 'Awoooh!'

I'm convinced that I was related to Laura Imbruglia in a past life - such is our undeniable spiritual connection. We were probably dowdy sisters in Victorian England, spending mind-numbingly grey days doing needle point while secretly hoping to be ravished by a kitchenhand. Who, in turn, only had eyes for the buxom scullery maid. Fuck our (past) lives! So why am I ranting about my soul sister? Well, she's back with the second taste of her third album.At...

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Beyoncé Unveils Pepsi Commercial & New Song 'Grown Woman'

About half an hour ago Beysus parted the heavens and beamed down her long-awaited Pepsi commercial, simultaneously debuting a snippet of a new single called "Grown Woman". I've been waiting so long for this that I didn't know what to expect. Probably not King B dressing up in old costumes and grinding in front of a mirror like that bitch from Flashdance but, fuck it, I'll take it.While I'm not particularly fussed about the commercial (I prefer the...

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Carmen Electra & The Best Song Of 2013

I haven't heard a second of Carmen Electra's new jam but I'm sure we can all agree that it's, more than likely, going to be the best song of the year. If not of all time. Take the stunning title and eye-popping cover art. The Baywatch babe is coming for skulls after snatching wigs like a drag queen on meth with the amazing "I Like It Loud", which became a well-deserved club hit in the States. No doubt the ravishing diva will own nightclubs from Brisbane...

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Fall In Love With Jordyn Taylor. Again.

Jordyn Taylor's claim to fame is appearing on the best soundtrack of all time. Of course, I'm talking about Confessions Of A Shopaholic. That opus features Lady Gaga (covering Heidi Montag!), not one but two doses of Kat DeLuna, iconic flops Jessie James and Adrienne Bailon - and this cutie. The Asian American diva was only 16 when she was signed to Interscope and briefly had the blogs buzzing when she hit the studio with super-producers like Darkchild...

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Ariana Grande Is The New Teen Queen

Victoria Justice and Jasmine V are probably doing shots off the hood of a car somewhere in the dark heart of Los Angeles right now, sobbing on each others' shoulders and screaming "fuck my life!" to random passersby. On the other side of town, Selena Gomez is begging Justin to make a sextape to promote her new album. A couple of blocks away Demi Lovato is parked outside McDonald's meticulously sterilizing her razor with a cigarette lighter, while...

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Why Spain Is The Cradle Of Human Civilisation

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Iggy Azalea Can Stay

About a year ago I wrote an article for Idolator about rising Australian pop stars. It was actually quite difficult to piece together because, let's be honest, the vast majority of local acts have a better chance of winning lotto than making the slightest ripple in America. Iggy appeared to be the glaring exception. She was already hyped as the next big thing and had a hotly anticipated major label debut album on the way. But it never came.Instead,...

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Belinda Carlisle's Triumphant Return

Isn't this photo flawless? That fur. Those cheekbones. Sure, it might be a couple of decades old but Belinda hasn't aged a day since 1983 - so I think I can get away with it. If you don't follow the iconic diva on Twitter, you might not be aware that she is embarking on a major comeback, releasing her first US single in 15 years.It came as a surprise to me too. I knew the yoga addict had been working on new music for what felt like an eternity but...

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Dragonette - Still The Most Underrated Act In Pop

Can someone please remind me why Dragonette isn't one of biggest bands on the planet? Martina and the boys have never released a bad single (that I'm aware of) but remain - with the exception of "Hello" - hitless and largely underground. The thing is, I'm guilty of ignoring them too. I downloaded Body Parts when it was released late last year but never got around to listening to it. To be honest, I completely forgot it existed until I stumbled across...

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Pitbull & Xtina's Feel This Moment - Video Review

Christina Aguilera's unbreakable lotus has finally been set free! After a couple of chart misfires, the iconic diva is rising up - back to the beginning - with another international smash. I wrote about "Feel This Moment" last month and basically called it a hot mess. That opinion still stands but the song has become something of a guilty pleasure and it warms what's left of my dead heart to hear Xtina's glorious pipes back on the radio.And, it seems,...

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Neon Nights 10 Year Anniversary

I remember March 17, 2003. As a life-long, demented Dannii fan I had been anticipating Neon Nights for months. This was back in the olden days when albums didn't leak and fans still rushed to record stores on the day of release. Even then there was a feeling that we were in for something extraordinary. After turning unwarranted flopping into artform in the late '90s, things were finally looking up for my childhood idol."Who Do You Love Now?" reintroduced...

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Bow Down, Bitches. Beyoncé Is Back!

It's hard to type while crying and shaking and holding prayer beads but I'll bravely soldier on because today needs to be documented for future music historians. Earlier this morning, Beyoncé nonchalantly put a new song on Soundcloud and the internet almost melted. "Bow Down/I Been On" had an immediate polarising effect.The Hive lost consciousness and woke to find their collective wig cleanly snatched, while the usual haters went to town on the highly...

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Mia Martina Steals Carly Rae Jepsen's Canadian Pop Crown

As a die-hard Raepist it kills me to admit that Carly is no longer Canada's leading pop diva. Her wig has been ruthlessly snatched by Mia Martina, who is currently burning up the lower reaches of her national top 50 with a brilliant track called "Heartbreaker".So who is this ravishing vixen and why isn't she a household name? The first part of the question is easy. The 29-year-old Canuck scored a top 10 hit with a cover of Edward Maya's "Stereo Love"...

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Luciana's New Video Is Very Odd

Luciana's "U B The Bass" video dropped today and I think it's fair to say that none of us were ready for its Bad Romance-meets-The Ring aesthetic. Australia's adopted club Queen always keeps it interesting - whether she's prancing through the desert in heels or rollerskating with hookers - but this is some crazy shit.Creepy ballerinas pose in fatsuits, while the dance icon rocks a pair of shoulder pads that would break Joan Collins' back. There's...

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Keep On Running With Mike & Andy Bull

Have you ever had an epiphany as brutal as a punch to the face? Been so overwhelmed by a situation that you don't know whether to laugh, cry or just inhale another beer and shrug your shoulders? My weekend was full of such fun moments and while it felt like a rollercoaster ride through the rotten bowels of hell at the time, it turned out to be strangely cathartic. I finally woke up to the fact that I've simply chosen a different path to most of my...

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Mimi And A Wind Machine

I keep waiting for "Almost Home" to catch fire on radio and propel Mariah to iTunes glory but bitches are too busy downloading the latest shit from Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Whatever. Mimi does things differently. She's above chores most stars take for granted - like promotion, working with new producers and standing. When will your fave? And while part of me wants to hear her contribution to the Oz soundtrack on the airwaves, I'm happy for it...

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Rita Ora & Azealia Banks - Live In Sydney

In the last week I've had the pleasure of seeing two of music's hottest new talents play the same venue. Rita Ora and Azealia Banks are in Australia as part of the Future Music festival but both found time for Sydney side-shows at the Enmore. They were great but the proximity of the gigs highlighted their comparative strengths and weaknesses - and confirmed my suspicion that neither lady has really found her niche just yet. Let's start with the Yung...

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Shit I Like - March 2013

I know I've been terrible at updating my blog lately but I'm still trawling the net for the best in high quality pop. No, really. And after an incredibly slow start to the year, the drought has finally broken and a steady trickle of great music is slowly reviving my stricken iPod. In a perfect world I would write individual posts on all of these amazing tunes but I honestly can't be fucked. So here is a summary of the music I like at the moment....

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I'm in love with a diva called Plumb

I'm in love with a woman called Plumb. I only met her on the weekend but it's real and we're already going steady. She's a 37-year-old Christian from Indiana but don't judge me. You know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you hear a song or album for the first time and know you just found a new fave? It hasn't happened to me in a while but two songs into Need You Now - the American diva's sixth album - I just knew I had found a new friend.The...

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Where the fuck is Beyoncé's new single?

Back off, Hive. This pic is everything to me!At first I was highly amused that King B did Super Bowl just for the fuck of it. Who else delivers a devastatingly brilliant performance on the world's biggest stage without having something to hawk? That is some boss shit and it's a revelation to see an artist not chasing promo the way Juicy J hunts ratchet pussy. But then things started to get weird. It felt odd that Beyoncé would sit down with Oprah...

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Is Demi This Generation's Pop Princess?

Every few years there is a changing of the guard. All the pretty ponies that were showered with undying love and attention either take a step up the pop ladder - or are sent kicking and screaming to the glue factory. It's a ruthless cycle that few survive. For every Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, there are 10 Hilary Duffs wondering what the fuck happened. And, for a while there, that's the fate that seemed to await Demi Lovato - the destiny...

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Why Is Carly Rae A Flop? Tonight I'm Getting Over You - Video Review

The continued failure of Carly Rae Jepsen to capitalise on the mammoth worldwide success of "Call Me Maybe" remains one of life's great mysteries. Like the sale of Filet-O-Fish burgers at McDonald's. Seriously, who buys that shit? The problem is not the music. As any discerning pop fan can attest, Kiss was one of finest recordings of 2012. There isn't a dud song on that album. Sure, some of it is kind of embarrassing if you're not a 12-year-old girl...

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Why I Respect Nelly Furtado - Bucket List Review

Nelly Furtado raised the bar for flopping with The Spirit Indestructible. Her last English language recording sold 10 million copies worldwide, while 2012's comeback effort sold a paltry 6,000 copies first week. In all fairness, the criminally underrated album turned out to be a steady seller in some parts of Europe - namely, Germany where she has always been disproportionately popular to the rest of the world. Kind of like Pink in Australia. Most...

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Timebomb Is Officially Forgiven - Kylie Slays Once Again!

I've been writing this blog since 2006. And even if you've only dropped by a couple of times over the last 8 years - two things should be clear by now. I really like Beyoncé and Kylie Minogue. The former has been getting a lot of coverage lately but I've been suffering from major fan fatigue with the Australian pop deity. Aphrodite was pleasant enough but the single choices were absolutely repellant and then she wasted everyone's time with that heinous...

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Mariah Carey - Almost Home - Review

Mimi isn't playing this year. So far she's conquered Australia, made Nicki Minaj look like a demented Cirque Du Soleil clown on American Idol and recorded the best soundtrack song of 2013. Did I mention it's only February? When the snippet of "Almost Home" leaked last week, I was slightly concerned. It was pleasant but I feared Mariah's latest vocal master class might be a tad boring. As it turns out, the Stargate-produced mid-tempo ballad is the...

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Christina Milian's Top 31 Australian Club Smash!

Christina Milian teaming up with a pair of low-brow Australian DJs for her latest comeback attempt was one of 2012's biggest WTF moments. The Stafford Brothers are best known in this country for their terrible reality TV show and the "When You Look At Me" diva has been focusing on the R&B market since the early 2000s. It just didn't seem to fit. Throw Lil Wayne into the mix and the project seemed doomed. But someone knew what they were doing....

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