These Beefcakes, A Spanish Flop & Pitbull Cover Aerosmith

Why is Pitbull so much less annoying in Spanish? Maybe it's because I don't understand when he "raps" about poppin' bottles and randomly lists cities. But this post is not about Mr Worldwide. To be honest it's a complete mystery how he ended up on the latest single from Puerto Rican duo Dyland & Lenny. They're not exactly household names. Anywhere.Perhaps he just couldn't resist contributing to the greatest Latin pop track of 2013. I'm only being...

Read More

Beyoncé Has A Top 10 Smash... In Fiji!

While your played-out faves are rushing around Tokyo and London trying to promote their flop careers, Beyoncé is effortlessly slaying the South Pacific. That sound you hear is King B adding to her wig collection. This is so random. I was switching between US and Australian iTunes and must have clicked a wrong button somewhere because I ended up in fucking Fiji. At first I just laughed because a boring song from The Hobbit is number one but then looked...

Read More

Jasmine V Is The New Madonna

I can't live this lie any longer. After years of denial, it's time to come out of the closet and admit that I am... a Jasminator. Sweet relief! You might be wondering what the fuck is going on right now, so let me give you the Cliff Notes version.Teen goddess Jasmine Villegas - better known to hundreds of fans worldwide as Jasmine V - got her big break playing Justin Bieber's love interest in the "Baby" video and has been plugging away at her own...

Read More

Ke$ha Really Loves Pussy - C'Mon Video Review

I must have sat down to write this review at least 10 times over the past month but it never quite happened. I think I was suffering from fan fatigue. After documenting the "Die Young" campaign from pre-leak to post-Sandy Hook fallout, I just wanted to enjoy a Ke$ha release without analysing every tiny detail. And it's been a lot of fun re-connecting with the pussy-lovin' pop icon."C'Mon" has proved the doomsayers wrong. After a slow start, the current...

Read More

Boomerang > The Matrix - Video Review

The world spit me out and I was spinnin' aroundThe Nicole Scherzinger juggernaut gathered even more momentum yesterday with the release of her game-changing "Boomerang" video. This is some next level shit but I'm going to keep it real. My initial reaction was something along the lines of - what in the "Scream & Shout" hell is this? But then I watched it a couple of dozen more times and realised that Nicky is breaking new ground with her high...

Read More

Two Black Cadillacs - Video Review

When people discuss music's highest-selling divas, Carrie Underwood is often left out of the conversation. And while she can't match the receipts of Adele and Taylor, the country queen's latest album has sold 1.3 million copies in the US - and she's only just released the third single. Blown Away has outsold recent efforts by Beyoncé, Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson. So isn't it about time you explored her mega-selling country-pop opus?And to be honest,...

Read More

Nicole Returns! Jesus Weeps! Careers End!

Bless Nicole. Amid the forced quirkiness of Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift's increasingly stale girl-next-door routine, it's a breath of fresh air to welcome back an old school pop star. You know, a diva that is happy to just look pretty while singing and dancing without reinventing the wheel? The patron saint of puakenikenis is an easy target - her delusional tweets rival any parody account - but she is talented and deserves to find her own niche after...

Read More

Why Beyoncé Can't Win

Beyoncé is the woman the media loves to tear down. I used to think it was just a case of tall poppy syndrome. When a person reaches a certain level of success, there's an ugly but distinctly human desire to give them a reality check. It happened to Michael Jackson, Madonna and basically anyone else worthy of icon status. But I think the Bey hate goes beyond that.First there was the baby bump debacle. I can't think of a more disgusting thing to accuse...

Read More

Kween Kat Strikes Back

Kat DeLuna is an unstoppable force of nature. The Dominican deity releases a new song every second week. So does Rihanna, I hear you say - but RedOne's original muse never disappoints. So she wins.I'm not sure if "Always On My Mind" is even on the diva's soon-to-be-released third album. It's another exotic international collaboration - this time with Romanian DJ Costi - and could be slated exclusively for lucrative Eastern European market. That would...

Read More

Kelly Rowland Sings About Her Vagina. Yet Again. Kisses Down Low - Review

What is wrong with Kelly Rowland? Ever since "Motivation" became a well-deserved but surprise hit, she has had sex on the brain. First, there was the soft porn "Lay It On Me" video. The Destiny's Child backing vocalist then claimed she was "Down For Whatever" before raising temperatures - of perverts and sex offenders - on "Ice". Now the randy bitch is back with another ode to her insatiable vagina called "Kisses Down Low".I hate to say it but I...

Read More

Luciana's Annual Aus Club Smash - U B The Bass

If you played all of Luciana's dance hits back-to-back, you could keep a club jumping for days. The English-born, Australia-adopted beauty is back with yet another explosive anthem called "U B The Bass". I love everything the queen of clubs does but this is extra special because:  1. The lyrics name-check goddess Shakira2. Luci sings about 'body language', which reminds me of Kylie's similarly-titled best album3. "U B The Bass" has a commercial...

Read More

Nicole Scherzinger unveils high budget 'Boomerang' promo

"Boomerang" is happening after all! Praise Jesus! The future smash was originally due to hit UK radio on January 7 but was pushed back to accomodate Ms Scherzinger's Hawaiian holiday. For a while there I feared it would end up in the same box of broken dreams that currently houses Killer Love and Her Name Is Nicole. Happily, we have a new release date - January 24 - and some era-defining publicity!To ensure the song's success, the only relevant Pussycat...

Read More

Destiny's Child Return - Nuclear Review

I still remember the first time I heard a Destiny's Child song. As a kid I was obsessed with Rick Dees' Top 40 countdown, which aired late on a Sunday afternoon in Australia. I would devour every track on my battered cassette walkman - often writing down notes on a scrap of paper so I could order the CD at my local record store. Yes, people. Life really sucked in the days before the internet! But back to the children of destiny. One night Rick introduced...

Read More

Mariah's Triumphant Return To Australia

Over the Summer I was lucky enough to tag along on Mariah's Australian tour. It was a wild ride with a couple of tense moments but it was a brilliant experience that I will always cherish. All of the shows were good but the Sydney concert was absolutely immaculate. Mimi received unfair criticism for what was perceived to be an overly short set but when you have 917 hits you have to be judicious about what you sing and I think she got the mix right....

Read More

Ke$ha Drinks From The Furry Cup

Happy New Year! I hope 2013 has been kind to you thus far. A lot has happened in the pop world over the past couple of weeks - and I'll get to all that shit eventually - but I'm still reeling from the stunning revelation that Ke$ha occasionally munches rug. Could she be any more flawless? To celebrate this joyous news, I thought I would post some saucy fan art of music's hottest bisexual as well as her new dyke bar smash "Old Flames Can't Hold A...

Read More