Ariana Grande Is The New Teen Queen

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Thursday, 31 January 2013

These Beefcakes, A Spanish Flop & Pitbull Cover Aerosmith

Posted on 03:19 by rajveer

Why is Pitbull so much less annoying in Spanish? Maybe it's because I don't understand when he "raps" about poppin' bottles and randomly lists cities. But this post is not about Mr Worldwide. To be honest it's a complete mystery how he ended up on the latest single from Puerto Rican duo Dyland & Lenny. They're not exactly household names. Anywhere.

Perhaps he just couldn't resist contributing to the greatest Latin pop track of 2013. I'm only being half-sarcastic. "Sin Ti" is a hot mess of epic proportions but I'm completely obsessed. The hip-hop/dance remake of Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" reminds me of those appalling techno mixes of popular songs we used to get in the '90s. Who will ever forget this triumph?

There's nothing classy or original about "Sin Ti" but it's so much fun you won't care one iota. Pitbull introduces his collaborators before making way for Dyland & Lenny, who actually sound pretty good to me. It could help that they spend most of the clip shirtless and are rather easy on the eye (see above).

And then there's the cherry on the top - Spanish dance flop legend Beatriz Luengo. I can't with this bitch. The way she pronounces "you" as "yowwww" cracks me up and why is she wearing Lady Gaga's studded bra from 2008 in the video? Lady, you're no Soraya!

Watch in awe below as this raggedy bunch destroy Aerosmith and deliver the best summer anthem you'll never hear on Australian radio.

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Posted in Aerosmith, Beatriz Luengo, Dyland and Lenny, Latin Pop, Pitbull, Spanish Pop | No comments

Beyoncé Has A Top 10 Smash... In Fiji!

Posted on 02:15 by rajveer

While your played-out faves are rushing around Tokyo and London trying to promote their flop careers, Beyoncé is effortlessly slaying the South Pacific. That sound you hear is King B adding to her wig collection. This is so random. I was switching between US and Australian iTunes and must have clicked a wrong button somewhere because I ended up in fucking Fiji. At first I just laughed because a boring song from The Hobbit is number one but then looked closer and realised that Fijians have amazing taste. Ke$ha and Icona Pop are top 5 and Bey's R&B smash is sitting pretty at number 7 (let's just ignore the presence of R. Kelly's decade old hit). Mad respect to this flawless nation! I'm so glad "Dance For You" is getting the attention it deserves... somewhere. A year later and it's still my favourite jam. Watch Bey work her wig below.

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Posted in Beyoncé, Charts, Legends | No comments

Monday, 28 January 2013

Jasmine V Is The New Madonna

Posted on 04:52 by rajveer

I can't live this lie any longer. After years of denial, it's time to come out of the closet and admit that I am... a Jasminator. Sweet relief! You might be wondering what the fuck is going on right now, so let me give you the Cliff Notes version.

Teen goddess Jasmine Villegas - better known to hundreds of fans worldwide as Jasmine V - got her big break playing Justin Bieber's love interest in the "Baby" video and has been plugging away at her own pop career ever since. I was introduced to her musical brilliance in LA when I had to write about her stunning buzz singles for Idolator. I liked most of them but she never quite reached the same level of success as contemporaries like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Victoria Justice or Bridgit Mendler.

That could change because the teenager's new single is an absolute triumph. I'm basically playing "Paint A Smile" on a loop with Nicole's "Boomerang" and Ke$ha's "C'Mon". Yes, it's really that amazing. Jasmine's upbeat break-up anthem is cute as a button. The move towards electronica is inspired (her last single was an mid-tempo R&B anthem about domestic abuse - I'm not kidding) and the lyrics are relentlessly uplifting. I particularly like this nugget of wisdom: "When the world lets me down I'll paint a smile on!"

The video is fairly standard for an upcoming diva. The 19-year-old leaves her boyfriend and goes on a joyride only to stop at a service station manned by a male model. Because pumping gas is the industry most good-looking people gravitate towards. From that point on, there's some wholesome bar-dancing and a bit of emoting in a field. The clip isn't going to win any awards but it does the trick.

Prepare to be blown away by "Paint A Smile" (below). I'll save you a seat at the next Jasminator convention!

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Posted in Jasmine V, Teen Pop, US Pop | No comments

Sunday, 27 January 2013

Ke$ha Really Loves Pussy - C'Mon Video Review

Posted on 00:58 by rajveer

I must have sat down to write this review at least 10 times over the past month but it never quite happened. I think I was suffering from fan fatigue. After documenting the "Die Young" campaign from pre-leak to post-Sandy Hook fallout, I just wanted to enjoy a Ke$ha release without analysing every tiny detail. And it's been a lot of fun re-connecting with the pussy-lovin' pop icon.

"C'Mon" has proved the doomsayers wrong. After a slow start, the current soundtrack to my life is gathering momentum in Australia (and America) and looks like being another big hit. It still wouldn't have been my pick as the second single but only because it misrepresents the millennium's most underrated album. "Crazy Kids", "Gold Trans Am" or "Only Wanna Dance With You" better represent the glory of cock-pop but I asked Jesus for guidance and he has helped me come to terms with the choice.

Don't get me wrong. I love "C'Mon" and get excited every time I hear it on the radio. It's an instant cure for a bad day and makes me want to drive around robbing convenience stores. Capturing the song's breezy brilliance was always going to be a challenge but the clip does an amazing job of letting us inside K$'s weird and wonderful head.

Director Darren Craig was also responsible for the diva's controversial "Die Young" video but he takes a very different approach this time. Gone are the Satanic references and group sex. Instead we get fuzzy animal costumes and a wild party. As much as I love "Die Young", I think this clip is more authentic to Lady Dolla. Like she was playing a character last time but can finally be herself now.

There is so much to love about this video, I don't even know where to start. I love that she looks like Ellie May from the Beverly Hillbillies in the opening scene. I want to ride in the magical van with God$ha and her pussycat companion (there are a lot of cat references in this clip). I approve of her stunning fashion choices and feel like partying with magical animals is the way forward. Most of all, I want her glamorous bedroom. I would seriously never leave the house ever again!

Go and download "C'Mon" today. Pop needs Ke$ha and the song and video (below) are pretty much flaw-free.

9/10

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Posted in Ke$ha, Video Reviews, Warrior | No comments

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Boomerang > The Matrix - Video Review

Posted on 04:14 by rajveer
The world spit me out and I was spinnin' around

The Nicole Scherzinger juggernaut gathered even more momentum yesterday with the release of her game-changing "Boomerang" video. This is some next level shit but I'm going to keep it real. My initial reaction was something along the lines of - what in the "Scream & Shout" hell is this? But then I watched it a couple of dozen more times and realised that Nicky is breaking new ground with her high art, low budget masterpiece.

Before I delve into the magic of Matrix - The Musical, can I just say how much better "Boomerang" sounds in HQ? I loved the radio rip but it made the production sound a bit shoddy. Now this is the kind of pop perfection I expect from the woman who brought us "Wet"! Moving on to the video. It's rather gorgeous to look at it, don't you think? Nicole is always flawless but she really brings sexy back in a selection of stylish outfits that show off her killer curves.

In the first couple of scenes, "Boomerang" reminds me of Kylie's "Love At First Sight" with the flashes of colour juxtaposed against the black and white background. It's chic and classy and almost a bit boring but then we're thrown down the rabbit hole into a weird and wonderful world of marching Scherzi-soldiers and dubious special effects.

Actually, let me clarify. Some of the visuals are stunning - I love the scene where all the Nicoles are hanging mid-air and when they make pretty shapes. My favourite part is probably when the diva has light glowing out of her back. That is some Tron-inspired shit right there! The weirder the concept, the better the computer effects look. However, there are a couple of dodgy moments and there's no excuse for wearing a garbage bag in that neon cage.

On the whole, however, "Boomerang" is stylish and odd and utterly captivating. It's a Lady Gaga concept filmed on a Dev-sized budget but that's Nicky for you. Always aiming for the top!

Watch in awe as the most underrated girl in game snatches your fave's wig below.

9/10

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Posted in Boomerang, Nicole Scherzinger, Video Reviews | No comments

Friday, 25 January 2013

Two Black Cadillacs - Video Review

Posted on 18:57 by rajveer

When people discuss music's highest-selling divas, Carrie Underwood is often left out of the conversation. And while she can't match the receipts of Adele and Taylor, the country queen's latest album has sold 1.3 million copies in the US - and she's only just released the third single. Blown Away has outsold recent efforts by Beyoncé, Rihanna and Kelly Clarkson. So isn't it about time you explored her mega-selling country-pop opus?

And to be honest, "Two Black Cadillacs" is the perfect starting point. The dark and gloomy murder-revenge anthem represents the next step in the evolution of Carrie Underwood. She's putting the girl-next-door shit aside - at least for now - to explore themes more at home on a Lana Del Rey record. I love how well country music lends itself to telling a story and the Americon Idol winner has an absolute doozy on her hands.

In a nutshell - a wife discovers her man is cheating and teams up with his hoe mistress to kill him. Given the song's already sinister subject matter, I thought Carrie might lighten things up with a camp video but she plunges head first into her new role as a femme fatale. The clip is eerily beautiful and I love the Stephen King-inspired twist at the end. This is the kind of thing you'd expect from Katy Perry or Lady Gaga. Which is why "Two Black Cadillacs" might find an even wider audience than usual.

Watch Carrie channel her inner murderess below:

8.5/10

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Posted in Carrie Underwood, Country, Video Reviews | No comments

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Nicole Returns! Jesus Weeps! Careers End!

Posted on 04:13 by rajveer

Bless Nicole. Amid the forced quirkiness of Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift's increasingly stale girl-next-door routine, it's a breath of fresh air to welcome back an old school pop star. You know, a diva that is happy to just look pretty while singing and dancing without reinventing the wheel? The patron saint of puakenikenis is an easy target - her delusional tweets rival any parody account - but she is talented and deserves to find her own niche after all those years of Pussycat Doll hell.

"Boomerang" is a giant step in the right direction. The surprisingly '80s-inspired pop tune sounds like the bastard child of Stacey Q and Laura Branigan - it's an avalanche of (intentionally) cheesy keyboards and catchy vocal hooks. In typical Nicole style, the lyrics don't make a lot of sense (see iconic Killer Love album track "Amenjena") but trust me, you'll be singing "I'm a boomerang oh wo-oh-oh oh wo-oh-oh!" by the time the track ends.

And now the million dollar question. Is it a hit? I think Nicky has Europe in the bag. Australia could go either way (a promo visit would pretty much guarantee a high chart position) and anything could happen in States. I mean Dev had a top 20 hit there, so the standard is low. Most importantly, I'm just happy to have the Hawaiian pop princess back. Her unreleased albums are better than your fave's finest moment!

Listen to a very rough radio rip of the future number one, Grammy-winning smash below.

9/10

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Posted in Boomerang, Nicole Scherzinger, Trash icons | No comments
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