A Song For Anyone With Broken Gaydar

Simone Battle was recently booted off US X Factor and dropped her debut single the very next day. That's all I know about her. But I'm hungry to learn more after hearing her unique lover-turned-fag hag anthem "He Likes Boys". Poor Simone sings about her frustrating relationship, delivering comedy gold with lines like "guess it is kind of odd that he's such a big fan of Lady Gaga" and "my gaydar needs some inspection". She's not alone if all the bi-curious...

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September Vs Agnes

I have to admit that I don't pay as much attention to the Swedish pop scene as I used to when titans like Olinda and Bionda ruled the scene. Unfortunately, those glory days are long gone and now we're stuck with a bunch of nobodies that have probably never fashioned a dildo from clay on national TV or started their own political party to promote a flop single. Shame. On the bright side, two of the more palatable Swedish divas are back with new tunes.It...

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Jeza And The Belles - Episode One

My attention rarely strays from music but I'm so obsessed with a new web-series that I had to spread the word. Jeza And The Belles is the show we've all been waiting for - a glorious action-comedy extravaganza about drag queens with superpowers. Jeza is the undoubted star with her Dolly Parton wig and gigantic jugs but Sue-She gets all the good lines and Badora (AKA Kelly Rowland's long-lost twin sister) provides the eye candy. I don't want to spoil...

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Mary J - Nice Song, Shame About The Video

I think I'm the only person that actually likes Mary J. Blige's new single. Feedback for "25/8" has been vicious but once you get past the cringeworthy title, it's a really good song. Not quite "Be Without You" or "I Am" but still a massive improvement on other "My Life II" cuts like "Someone To Love Me (Naked)" and "Mr Wrong". The R&B icon delivers vocally and the old school production is pitch perfect. So why did her label spend no money on...

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Beyoncé Throws The Best Party EVER

From the post-apocalyptic drama of "Run The World (Girls)" to the zero-budget performance video for "Love On Top", Beyoncé has delivered a bit of everything this era. And while I definitely like some of the concepts more ("Countdown") than others ("1+1"), the videos have all suited the material and shown off Queen B's legendary versatility. It seems fitting then that she keep the best for last.Actually, that's not quite right. "Party" isn't the best...

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Jessica & Stan Fly The Idol Flag

Jessica Mauboy and Stan Walker have finally blessed the world with the duet we've all been waiting for! No, really. I love them both and think a collaboration is smart for several reasons:1. It gives them something to sing on their upcoming joint-tour of RSL clubs - no shade, this is actually happening and I already have tickets!2. They are two of the nation's most successful pop stars and I'm a firm believer in cross-promotion.3. Anyone is a better...

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Your New Favourite Band

If Adam Lambert was around in the '60s, he would probably sound something like Hunx and his Punk - AKA my new favourite gay rock band. Founded by Seth Bogart (a California-based hair salon owner) in 2008, the band has already released one album called "Gay Singles" and built up a loyal underground following. I haven't got around to listening to that opus yet but their sophomore effort "Too Young To Be In Love" is something of a triumph. I genuinely...

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Listen To Monica Or Die!

If there's one lesson to take from Monica's latest video, it's that you should always follow her advice or end up in a bodybag. The lead actress in "Until It's Gone" makes the mistake of ignoring the R&B diva's sage words and let's just say the poor bitch has one of dem days and then some. The clip is a bit melodramatic - my favourite part is when our ill-fated heroine sadly declares "Monica told me he would never change!" in a voiceover - but...

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Cosmo Jarvis Covers Kylie Minogue

A couple of weeks ago, Cosmo Jarvis visited Australia for a whirlwind promo tour and a pair of sold-out shows in Sydney and Melbourne. He also found the time to drop by Triple J to perform on their popular Like A Version segment, which involves guests singing unexpected cover versions. And the 22-year-old raised the bar by taking on Kylie's "Spinning Around". From "Gay Pirates" to Ms Minogue's career-reviving comeback single, Cosmo has displayed...

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Beyoncé's Urban Smash Gets J.Cole Remix & Lil' Kim's Approval

Beyoncé's "4" campaign is already more complicated than Inception with three different singles being promoted simultaneously but things are about to get even weirder when two versions of her current urban smash go to radio. While "Party" took a while to grow on me, the song has since become a firm favourite. I also think it could turn out to be something of a sleeper hit. The slick Kanye West-produced slow jam is exploding on R&B radio (see below)...

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How Pattyboy Scalped Rihanna & Britney

Earlier this year I introduced Pattyboy as the worst pop star of all time. That post was very tongue in cheek but I did say that his music is better than half of "Born This Way" and expressed my admiration for the Kiwi's ambition in the face of no discernible talent. Things have changed since then. For starters, the vocally-challenged diva shocked everyone by rocketing to #49 on NZ iTunes with his latest well-meaning but painful anthem "Unicorn"....

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The Return Of Amy Pearson

It's the news that millions of pop fans around the globe have been waiting for - Amy Pearson has blessed us with a new single! Two years have passed since "Butterfingers" killed her career but the big-lunged diva has kept busy writing songs for colleagues like Zoë Badwi. Well, the British import is finally ready to move on from her glorious ode to anal-probing. Ms Pearson jazzes up DEVolution's new single with her powerful pipes, helping "Good Love"...

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Kelly Rowland Recycles Another Video

Seriously, Ms Kelly. What the fuck? I have worshipped your flawless music since the birth of Destiny's Child. My loyalty has never wavered - not even when you looked like a man with that short hair in the late 90s. But two recycled videos in as many weeks is beyond lazy. A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about the overwhelming similarities between "Lay It On Me" and Livvi Franc's "Now I'm That Bitch". The Rowl Dogs barked that Kelendria wasn't...

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Rihanna - We Found Love - Video Review

Can Rihanna please go back to being that sunny island babe that stared into space like an empty vessel and did her best to look pretty? Ever since Breezy's Ike Turner moment, Def Jam has been intent on making the 23-year-old edgy and interesting. Their first attempt at transforming RiRi into a dark and damaged diva fell flat when "Rated R" flopped but the sex-addict image circa "Loud" was a success. This time around the-powers-that-be have turned...

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Bai Ling & The Song Of The Year

Bai Ling has been one of my favourite actresses since she was robbed of an Academy Award for her stunning portrayal of a horny vampire in The Breed. Since then the Chinese beauty has become a pop culture phenomenon - both for her fabulous B grade movies and drunken behaviour at film premieres that usually involves crashing the red carpet and showing off her nipples. And it is the latter activity that inspired the 45-year-old's music debut. After...

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Nicole Scherzinger - Try With Me - Video Review

When did Nicole Scherzinger become so completely and utterly amazing? Her first attempt at solo stardom was all kinds of wrong but "Killer Love" is one of 2011's best pop albums and is set to get even better with a re-package due on November 14 (in the UK). The new version contains three previously unreleased tracks - "Trust Me I Lie", "Tomorrow Never Dies" and her jaw-droppingly good new single "Try With Me". Written and produced by Australia's...

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Ricki-Lee Returns With Raining Diamonds

There has been a flurry of activity from Australian Idol alumni of late. Jessica and Stan are about to release a cute duet, Shannon is predicted to hit the top 10 with his awesome new album and Anthony Callea recently reached number 88 on iTunes with "Oh Oh Oh Oh". But Ricki-Lee has outdone them all with "Raining Diamonds". The 25-year-old diva was a staple of this site for years until everything went tits up with her scrapped "See No, Hear No, Speak...

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Britney's New Video Is Criminal

I'm not here for a middle-aged prescription drug addict desperately trying to recapture her glory days by acting like a teenage slut.1...

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Love On Top - Video Review

Before reviewing Beyoncé's latest video triumph, I think I should try to explain the "4" campaign - if that's even possible - because a lot people have been asking me why there are so many videos. Here goes:1. Run The World (Girls) - First Single2. Best Thing I Never Had - Second Single3. 1 + 1 - Random Promo Video4. Countdown - Third US Single (Pop)5. Love On Top - Third Aus/NZ Single6. Party - Third US Single (R&B/Urban)It's all a bit confusing...

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Anthony Callea - Oh Oh Oh Oh No

Four years have passed since Anthony Callea released his last single. During that time he came out of the closet, hooked up with Tim Campbell (hi!), left Sony and spent a lot of time in America working on his independent comeback. The only thing the pint-sized pop star forgot to do is record a decent song. "Oh Oh Oh Oh" is awful. As much as I like the idea of an openly gay Australian pop star who isn't Darren Hayes, I still have (admittedly low)...

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A Double Standard Beyoncé And Kelly?

Beyoncé has copped a hiding in the media this week for using ten seconds of choreography from the Belgian ballet 'Rosas danst Rosas' in her amazing 'Countdown' video.Meanwhile, it turns out that Kelly Rowland's 'Lay It On Me' video is an exact replica of Livvi Franc's 'Now I'm That Bitch' - albeit with more obvious cock references - but that revelation has been greeted with overwhelming silence.Why the double standard?It's obvious that picking on...

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Shannon Noll - 'A Million Suns' Interview

Shannon Noll has been flying under the radar for the past couple of years but he's back with his long-awaited fourth album "A Million Suns". Now with a new record label and fresh outlook the music industry, the former farmer is hoping to re-capture the spark that resulted in ten straight top 10 hits between 2004 and 2007. A lot has changed since the 36-year-old rose to fame on Australian Idol but he remains one of the country's favourite singers...

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Ms Kelly's Soft Porn Opus

Now that Beyoncé is up the duff and living in semi-seclusion to avoid pressed haters, the baton has been passed to Ms Kelly to keep R&B alive until her return. And the soul legend isn't letting a moment go to waste. She established herself as Aretha Franklin for 2011 on the hyper-sexual "Motivation" and continues slay sad pretenders like Rihanna on "Lay It On Me". The seventh second single from "Here I Am" is an all-conquering club-banger that...

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Natalie Bassingthwaighte Fails To Chart

I almost feel sorry for Natalie Bassingthwaighte. The 36-year-old* former soap-star must have thought she was primed for a Jennifer Lopez-sized comeback when someone was stupid enough to invite her onto the X Factor judging panel but instead of riding that momentum all the way to number one, she failed to dent the top 100 with her heinous comeback single "All We Have". Whoops! More embarrassing is the fact that the song clearly sold enough downloads...

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The 2011 Anti-ARIAs

Nominees for the 2011 ARIA Awards were announced today and the recipients leave a lot to be desired. All the usual suspects got nods - Kasey Chambers and John Farnham - as well as the current indie-darlings/flavours of the month like Kimbra and Boy & Bear. In a nutshell, it's same old, boring shit. The golden rule obviously still applies. If you're playlisted on JJJ and sell no records - you're in. If you had a hit and enjoy an international...

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Luciana & Betty White's Hot Video

I can't believe it's finally here! The video for the post-menopausal version of "I'm Still Hot" just dropped and it's positively sizzling. Luciana has never looked better - despite wearing her trademark STD (Short T-Shirt Dress)! - and Betty White continues to prove why she is the coolest woman alive. The set-up is pretty simple. Everyone's favourite Golden Girl feeds cheesecake to a bunch of half-naked muscle men, while the Queen of clubs hangs...

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La Toya Claims The Jackson Throne

The weight of the Jackson legacy now rests squarely on La Toya's slender shoulders. While Janet continues to visit third world nations in search of fans old enough to remember her last hit, Joseph's favourite daughter proudly represented the clan at Sunday night's Michael Jackson tribute concert in Wales - bringing some much-needed credibility to an event otherwise lumped with has-beens like Craig David and Alexandra Burke. I knew the 55-year-old...

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Cosmo Jarvis - Sydney Showcase

A rooftop in Neutral Bay is probably the last place I ever expected to hear Cosmo Jarvis belt out "Gay Pirates" but that's what happened on Monday night when he performed a six-song showcase for assorted industry types. Like many people, that quirky anthem was my introduction to the scarily talented 22-year-old but since then I've become a huge fan and was excited about his Sydney debut. It got off to a somewhat unconventional start when the Brit...

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Love On Top - A Tribute To La Toya

Christmas came early yesterday. Not only did Sunday Night - a dire Australian current affairs program - screen an interview with Beyoncé, they also debuted her "Love On Top" video. Well, a 90 second preview. Not that I'm complaining. I almost choked on a Tim Tam when the clip started. We all know there are videos for "Party" and "End Of Time" gathering dust on Bey's hard drive but I honestly doubted the existence of this one. Surely it would have...

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Elen Levon Competition Winners

Thanks to everyone who entered my competition to win a signed "Naughty" promo CD single. The song is set to debut at number 60 on this week's ARIA chart, which is a great achievement for a new artist. With any luck that will rise as the song continues to gain spins on radio! But now for the winners. The following Elen Levon fans have won a copy of 17 year old's catchy anthem:@Azza316@jordddz@Gaosalad@jordanhirst@LAjredini@DanielJay92@trigmoxie@Ryan_Ogden@shortielauraCongratulations!...

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