I can't believe this shameless cunt is back. Nobody wanted Natalie's abysmal solo material the first time around, so I don't like her chances now. The pioneer of mutton-dressed-as-lamb chic is clearly hoping X Factor will jumpstart what's left of her career but I think she'll be lucky to snag more than a one-off novelty hit. Particularly with music this bad. "All We Have" blatantly rips off J.Lo's "On The Floor" - from the lazy sample down to the cover art and video premise. Only there's no Pitbull to give it credibility, no RedOne to make it annoyingly catchy and no Jennifer for eye candy. What you're left with is the biggest turd of 2011. The song is dying on iTunes but I'm sure Sony will pull out all stops - like a big budget video from the always impressive Benn Jae. Unfortunately, even his talented team can't distract you from the aural trainwreck that is "All We Have".To save your retinas and eardrums lasting damage, here is a summary of the 10 worst things about Horsey's latest film clip:
1. Natalie Bassingthwaigte is in it.
2. Someone forgot to airbrush her Sarah Jessica Parker hands.
3. These costumes were clearly intended for a woman under 45.
4. Kylie called and wants her "I Believe In You" birdcage back.
5. Just because Natalie is the same age as Tina Turner in Beyond Thunderdome doesn't make
6. The appalling soundtrack. All is forgiven, Vanessa. "All We Have" makes "Gossip" sound like "Rolling In The Deep".
7. Choreography of this quality shouldn't be wasted on someone with two left cankles.
8. The unbelievable premise. How many post-menopausal women are still hitting up the club? Well, apart from Madonna.
9. Stealing Fergie's inimitable Meth-head chic is just rude.
10. The fact that so much time, energy and money was wasted on someone this void of talent.
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