My New Obsession Is "My Car Pay (4 My Bitch)"

My new jam is called "My Car Pay (4 My Bitch)". Yes, I'm now officially one of those tragic white guys that drive around the suburbs blasting hood anthems in their cheap Korean vehicles. Fuck my life. If I had any shame, I'd be embarrassed but I don't and the infectious club-banger is the year's guiltiest pleasure. In addition to stunning lyrics like "my car pay for my bitch, my bitch pay for my dick" and a backing track that I'm pretty sure I heard...

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Luciana - Jump (Rocket Pimps Mix)

It's a big week for Luciana. The dance deity kicks off her Australian tour on Sunday, her collaboration with Tiesto and Wolfgang Gartner "We Own The Night" is predicted to top the UK club chart and she's releasing a brand new single called "When It Feels This Good". On top of all that, "Jump" - her Cube Guys feature - looks set to climb into the UK club chart top 10 this week. When you're hot, you're hot! To celebrate the impending arrival of Luci,...

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Calvin Harris Does Florence

I've been a huge fan of Florence + The Machine since the beginning but Ceremonials just doesn't float my boat. It's not a bad album by any means but the spark - and quirky pop sensibility - that made Lungs one of the best debuts in recent memory is missing. That's not to say it's a complete waste of time. I have a soft spot for "Shake It Out" and "What The Water Gave Me" is a mysterious delight. You can now add the Calvin Harris mix of "Spectrum...

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Happy Birthday, Toy Toy!

56 years ago a beautiful angel called La Toya Yvonne Jackson was born in Gary, Indiana. It didn't take long for her earthly mission to become apparent. Toy Toy was sent from above to spread a message of peace, love and big backdoor-rubbing through a collection of uplifting songs that simultaneously soothe the soul and inspire random chest-to-chests. With so many classic anthems under her belt, it's hard to single out just one for her birthday celebration...

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Jack Vidgen Destroys Beyoncé's "I Was Here"

I draw the line at bashing children. Australia's Got Talent winner Jack Vidgen seems like a nice kid and I wish him all the best for his career but please leave the Beyoncé songs alone. Especially something as meaningful as "I Was Here". The Diane Warren-penned ballad is the love-it-or-hate-it song on 4 but after hearing King B's emotional rendition at Roseland, I'm definitely in the former camp. Most of the criticism directed at the power ballad...

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Loreen Remixed - Eurovision Winner Gets The WAWA Treatment

I really don't give a fuck about Eurovision. I know that's an unpopular attitude among pop fans but the competition is less relevant than Melanie C. However, the odd gem still pops up occasionally and this year produced two stellar songs. I've already expressed my admiration for the flawless French entry by Indonesian superstar Anggun and there's no denying that the winning anthem is something of a triumph."Euphoria" by Swedish Idol flop Loreen encapsulates...

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Kylie's Time Bomb - Song & Video Review

When I first heard "Time Bomb" my blood ran cold. I imagine Madonna fans must have experienced a similar feeling when they were first ear-raped by MDNA. But Kylie's cheap and cheerful electro-anthem is a grower and by the third or fourth listen I was on board. However, I stand by my initial evaluation. If anyone else recorded the song, I would be tearing it apart. "Time Bomb" sounds like a Rachel Stevens B-side from 2003 - only with worse production....

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Luciana - When It Feels This Good - Video Review

Luciana dropped the video for her brilliant new single "When It Feels This Good" earlier today and it's absolute winner. The high-camp visual extravaganza finds the holy Queen of clubs rollerblading down Hollywood Boulevard with a gaggle of scantily-clad gal pals in hot pursuit. The duchess of dance then steals Richard Vission's van, poses saucily in a bright orange Louise Brooks wig and goes on a massive bender. So it's basically a gritty, fly-on-the-wall...

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Kate Ryan On The Pop Panel

Sunday night's Pop Panel was a lot of fun but there was something missing. A few days earlier I had invited Kate Ryan to take part but didn't hear back from her in time and just assumed the pop icon was too busy. Imagine my surprise when I found her votes in my inbox this morning. And what amazing commentary! Belgium's third most famous export after chocolate and sex offenders is a natural. She says exactly what she thinks and isn't afraid to throw...

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Beyoncé, Rih & Baby Blue - 5 Years From Now

Consider my entire existence slayed. Via dY's tum...

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La Toya Reveals The Secret Of Beauty

When the going gets tough, I always ask myself - What would La Toya do? Admittedly, the strategy hasn't got me very far in life but the empress of pop, dance, disco, R&B and country never fails to brighten my spirits with her poise, grace and insightful words of wisdom. Need further proof that Toy Toy is the deluded thinking man's Deepak Chopra? Check out the vocal giant's stunning exposition on the importance of beauty (below). This iconic clip...

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Pop Panel 2012 - Volume 5

Another week, another outpouring of catty comments and general bitchiness. Yes, friends - it's time for another edition of Pop Panel! This time around I tried to feature a broader spectrum of pop. There's an Australian contingent, some Euro-pop, American superstars and more stunning K-pop divas. I'm pressed at the treatment some of my faves receive but I'm here for the winner, who attains the highest score thus far in Pop Panel 2012. It's not surprising...

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Emma Louise Can Do No Wrong

"Jungle" was one of my favourite songs of 2011 but Emma Louise raises the bar even further with "Boy" (below). The beautifully restrained alt-pop anthem is a revelation. Brisbane's best export since XXXX has delivered a gloomy folk song wrapped in a murky blanket of electronic bleeps. It takes a couple of listens to process but eventually unfolds into something quite spectacular. I love Emma's understated lyrics and am convinced that the pixie-faced...

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Luciana's (Latest) Australian Club Tour

The last time I wrote about the Queen of clubs, she had just dropped a video for her Bodyrox collaboration "Bow Wow Wow". Since then the busiest woman in pop somehow found the time to record "We Own The Night" (check out the video below) with Tiësto and Wolfgang Gartner and line up the follow-up single to her Gold-selling Australian smash "I'm Still Hot". It's called "When It Feels This Good" and will be released on Vicious Records very soon. Exciting,...

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11 Questions With Carrie Underwood

Last week saw the release of Carrie Underwood's hotly-anticipated fourth album. Blown Away is another flawless affair that showcases the 2005 American Idol winner's powerful pipes and evolution as an artist. The sound is still very much contemporary country but the 29-year-old shows her dark side on the positively Hitchcockian "Two Black Cadillacs" and lands an emotional knock-out punch on "Good In Goodbye" (ie. the country "Someone Like You"). There's...

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The Re-Birth Of CD Singles?

This time last year I was mourning the death of CD singles in Australia. Major retailers like JB Hi-Fi, Big W and Target stopped selling them and labels stopped producing them. It was a sad - and unnecessary - end for what was a much-loved item for many music fans. Some of my favourite childhood memories involve riffling through CD racks in record stores. Owning a physical copy of a song somehow made it less disposable. I would examine at the artwork,...

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Madonna's Best Single & Video In Ages

At first glance you could be mistaken for thinking Lisa Gail Allred is Madonna's vastly younger sister. But the menopausal beauties share more than strikingly good looks. They also boast a similar vocal range and talent quota. Just check out the country queen's viral smash "3 Second Rule" (above). I haven't heard notes like this since... actually, I've never heard anything like this before. Lisa is a truly unique talent and isn't constrained by boring conventions like singing in key. She's above that. Then there's the epic video, which puts...

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Serena Williams Is The New Nicki Minaj

Poor Onika. Her reign as the hottest hoe in the rap game is over before it started. It was inevitable with more talented divas like Azealia Banks on the horizon but I'm guessing noone expected Serena Williams to be the bitch that snatched her crown. But that's exactly what happened yesterday when the tennis star dropped her first hood anthem. The as-yet-untitled future classic is the hottest of hot messes but I love her stunning rhymes. Serena's...

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Kat DeLuna's Latest Belgian Pop Triumph

It's time for your fave to take a seat and hand over her wig. Pioneering pop legend Kat DeLuna is back with another Belgian club-banger and, as usual, she raises the bar for popular music to previously unimagined heights. Since re-locating to Europe, the Dominican diva has been on a roll. "Push Push" was one of the best songs of 2010, "Party O'Clock" was stolen by Jennifer Lopez and re-released as "On The Floor" and "Dancing Tonight" shot Queen Kat...

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Nelly Furtado's Big Hoops Video Is As Crazy As The Song

Nelly Furtado can do no wrong in my eyes. I love her quirky voice, genre-hopping ways and bad Spanish. I also seem to be one of the few people that love her comeback single - at least if its non-existent chart run is any indication. The Canadian's camp must be concerned. Her last English language album sold ten million copies around the world and spawned era-defining hits like "Maneater", "Say It Right" and "Promiscuous". Meanwhile "Big Hoops" is...

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Cancel Eurovision, San Marino Has Already Won!

I'm rarely lost for words but San Marino's Eurovision entry has left me speechless. The tiny principality will be represented by a flawless diva called Valentina Monetta, who has delivered one of the best/worst songs ever to grace/pollute the competition. I'm not going to spoil the magic of "Facebook Uh Oh Oh" by examining its timeless lyrics ("so you wanna make love with me, am I really your cup of tea?") and big budget video, which showcases Valentina's...

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Natalia Guns For Soraya's Pop Crown

I know what's going on here. With Soraya busy burning up the club charts around the world in Poland and Uzbekistan, Natalia is trying to snatch her superstar countrywoman's international pop crown. Sorry, bitch - it's not gonna happen! Don't get me wrong. I like Natalia and her flop dance anthems but she just doesn't have the vocal prowess to match the pride of Extremadura. Could she place 23rd at Eurovision? I don't think so! Many of you are probably...

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Jay Brannan On Touring, Dysfunctional Relationships & Angry Lesbian Music

Earlier today I had a quick chat with American singer-songwriter Jay Brannan about his new album and forthcoming Australian tour. Since his star turn in the mind-raping sausage-fest otherwise known as Shortbus, the 30-year-old has carved out a niche as the gay equivalent of Ani DiFranco or Aimee Mann. You know, an insightful wordsmith with a knack for getting under your skin with honest lyrics and pretty melodies. His latest single "Beautifully"...

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Pop Panel 2012 - Volume 4

Sorry if this week's Pop Panel is an Adele-sized mess. I've been crazy busy, so it was pulled together faster than Rihanna's last album. And while it's a bare-bones edition, the judges are in fine form and I threw in a few extra songs. As for the winner, I'm pleased. It's a great song but I'm sure you'll agree - after hearing and seeing the runner-up's genre-defining smash - that someone was robbed. Typical! Ok, let's get started. Tonight's Panel...

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